Alison Brie as Muffy the Vampire Slayer
2007 Pilot. "Not Another High School Show".
Tags: Alison Brie (TV Actor) Buffy Slayer Jennifer Lawrence (TV Actor)
Added: 1 year ago
[scene opens with an exterior shot of the high school (with a sign reading "La Playa Beach Creek Hills High Welcomes New Students Muffy Rabinowitz and Brian Atkins"), then cut to inside the school library where a female student (modelled after Buffy Summers) is talking to an older male librarian (balding white hair, glasses, tweed jacket, black sweater, white undershirt, tie, brown pants) clearly modelled after Rupert Giles]
JEEVES: You're going to have to be a lot more careful at this school then you were at the last, Muffy.
MUFFY: Well, I'm sorry Jeeves, but when I see a red-faced anagogic demon coming at me ... I scalp the bastard.
[she nonchalantly sits on the table in front of him]
JEEVES: Muffy, you scalped sophomore Roger Widiger ... he had a little rosacea.
MUFFY: Eww ...
JEEVES: Just forget about it. I have found something that should be of grave concern to you.
[he motions towards a pile of hair sitting on the table next to her, and she gets an embarrassed look on her face (trying to cover up the front of her skirt with her hands)]
MUFFY: I know, it's ... really gotten out of hand down there.
JEEVES: Muffy, it belongs to something big! Something hairy! That something is--
MUFFY: Okay, I get it! I need to trim!
[the librarian rolls his eyes]
JEEVES: You're not listening, Muffy ... I'm afraid you're going to have to destroy the most terrifying creature ever to roam the halls of this school!
[he takes a large book and drops it loudly onto the table (revealing the cover title to be "The Book of Demons"), then opens it to a page featuring a drawing of a werewolf (modelled after Michael J. Fox's character from the movie "Teen Wolf") and the words "Wolfis Teenagius"]
JEEVES: A teenage wolf!
[dramatic music plays as the camera zooms in on the library, then cut back to the student with a confused look on her face]
MUFFY: Wait, are we still talking about my vag?
[Muffy is roaming the halls, when she sees the school janitor making inappropriate comments under his breath while other female students walk by]
MUFFY: I smell a wolf ...
[she takes a knife out of her purse, then the camera follows two male students walking past her]
BRIAN: We've been walking around for half an hour ... Shouldn't we be going to class?
LAWSON: Actually Brian, at this school, there are no classes. We get our education by aimlessly wandering through the hallways. I bet that's a lot different from the correctional facility you come from!
[they stop (as Muffy continues to slowly stalk the janitor in the background)]
BRIAN: Shh! Listen, Lawson, I'd really appreciate it if you wouldn't talk about my past.
[as they continue their melodramatic conversation with a female student carrying a ladder in her backpack, Muffy attacks the janitor and repeatedly stabs him in the heart]
MUFFY: Die, wolfus teenagius!
[she leaves the scene of the crime, then another female student (played by Jennifer Lawrence) walking by looks down at the fallen janitor, who smiles at her (as blood runs out of his nose)]
JANITOR: What's your name, sweet-tits?
FRANTIC GIRL: Help! Somebody stabbed the janitor in the heart!
[looking around nervously, Muffy places the knife back in her purse and runs off]
JANITOR: [from off camera] Seriously, what's your name?
FRANTIC GIRL: Amy!
[a teenage werewolf is doing a keg stand (as the students surrounding him loudly chant "Wolf!"), while Muffy (carrying a crossbow) appears in the foreground]
MUFFY: I'm close ... I can sense it.
[ignoring the werewolf, she moves on, then sees a normal-looking male student crying ... which might be mistaken for howling at the moon]
MUFFY: If it isn't the big bad wolf!
[she fires the crossbow ... and ends up hitting a completely different female student in the back]
MUFFY: Uh oh.
[she drops the crossbow and runs off]
Not Another High School Show
Comedy - 21 September 2007 (USA)
A parody of popular teen TV dramas such as "Beverly Hills, 90210," "Dawson's Creek" and "Buffy the Vampire Slayer."
Jeffrey Christopher Todd ... Lawson Goldstein
Alison Brie ... Muffy
Michael Ensign ... Jeeves
Jennifer Lawrence ... Frantic Girl
Were Alison Brie and Jennifer Lawrence to storm into Comedy Central's offices today, demanding to star in a spoof show series, "kind of like Not Another Teen Movie, but we'll call it ... Not Another High School Show," and that Brie wants to play someone named "Muffy the Vampire Slayer," I hope Comedy Central would instantly reject the idea. It would kill their careers because it sounds awful, and it was awful. Not Another High School Show was developed in 2007 and a pilot was shot, but never picked up.
I've mentioned the show before, but at that point, there was no footage of Brie and Lawrence's scene together online. Well, here it is, in all its, um, glory. Come for the references to Brie's vagina; stay for Lawrence being hit on by a janitor (played by H. Jon Benjamin?) who's just been stabbed.
Ever since the first episode of Community I thought, "Annie/Alison really looks like Sarah Michelle Gellar." It's especially true if you look at pics of SMG prior to dying her hair blonde for BtVS. I was floored when I heard about this pilot for Not Another High School Show. It should've been picked up if just for the reason that it gave me this pic of Alison pretending to be Buffy (or Muffy) talking to Giles (or whatever Muffy's Watcher's name is) in the infamous SHS library. I now need to find the unaired pilot.