Thursday, February 28, 2013

Case Study No. 0819: Mark Nelson

Man to Man #3 | The Art of Manliness
What do you do if you don't want a career in the area you majored in while in college? How do you go from being a librarian to a farmer? Find out in this week's episode of Man to Man.
Tags: manliness men career
Added: 2 years ago
From: artofmanliness
Views: 9,674

[scene opens with a young man speaking directly to the camera]
BRETT MCKAY: So let's get to this week's question for Man to Man ... Uh, this week's question comes from Mark Nelson, and Mark writes "Brett, you're gonna think I'm crazy here, but I need some advice man to man. I'm a student, working toward a degree in library science, and I've nearly reached the end of the college run. It'll be good to be done, I admit. The thing is, though, as the big day draws closer with its attendant cap and gown, I've come to the realization that, well, I don't actually want to be a librarian. As a matter of fact, I don't even want to be an information specialist. I don't quite know how I came this far without having this realization, but I did. I think denial had something to do with it."
[he furrows his brow]
BRETT MCKAY: "What do I want to do? I want to run my own small farm, and run it as a traditional farm ... uh, more like organic and sustainable farming. I also wanna do some basic sustainable lumber work during the farming off-season. Am I utterly off my rocker?"
[he clicks a button on his computer]
BRETT MCKAY: Well Mark, you're not utterly off your rocker. I think it's great that you have a passion, this dream that you wanna pursue, and I know there's a lotta men out there who are in the same boat as you. They went to college, uh, they spent four years studying a major, thinking that's what they wanna do for a career. They graduate, start that career, and realize that's not what they wanna spend the rest of their life doing. Uh, so they go on to do other things.
[he waves his hands]
BRETT MCKAY: So don't feel bad about that, it's a pretty common experience for a lot of young people ... Um, here's my suggestion for you. I don't know if you have any experience yet farming, if you've done any of that, or even lumbering.
[he looks up]
BRETT MCKAY: Um, so I wouldn't drop everything and just buy your plot of land right off the bat and start farming, because you don't even know if you're gonna like it. Uh, what I would recommend doing is taking a year or two, and getting some experience with farming and lumbering to see if it's something you really wanna spend the rest of your life doing.
[he waves his hands]
BRETT MCKAY: Because farming, from what I understand, is a lifestyle. It's not something you just do nine-to-five, uh, and take y'know, weekends off. It's twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, uh, three hundred and sixty five days a year. Uh, so you have to be really committed to it.
[he sniffs]
BRETT MCKAY: So here are my suggestions for you to get some experience. Um, the first thing you can do is just look for farms in the area, or in the country, who are doing the type of farming that you wanna do. I know there's a lotta small sustainable farms. Give 'em a call, send them a letter saying "I'd like to do this someday too, can I come work for you, y'know, during the harvest season?"
[he waves his hands]
BRETT MCKAY: Um, and go work for them. Probably not gonna get paid very much, but you're gonna get that experience to see if it's something you really wanna spend the rest of your life doing.
[he waves his hands]
BRETT MCKAY: The same with lumbering. Um, find some lumbering companies that are doing the type of lumbering that you wanna do, that's sustainable lumbering, and see if you can work for them for a season. Uh, another option that I'd recommend doing, to get that experience with sustainable farming, is signing up for Peace Corps and AmeriCorps. These are volunteer organizations that are funded by, in part by the US government.
[he waves his hands]
BRETT MCKAY: Uh, Peace Corps is for international service, and AmeriCorps is for domestic. I know for a fact that both organizations have programs that are geared towards sustainable farming. I know, uh, AmeriCorps here in the United States has programs with the US Forest Service that do things with sustainable farming and conservation.
[he waves his hands]
BRETT MCKAY: Uh, what's really great about these things is you can sign up and it's like a year or two year commitment. If you do Peace Corps, maybe you might go off to Africa and, y'know, teach people there how to do sustainable farming in Africa.
[he waves his hands]
BRETT MCKAY: You're gonna learn about farming, you're gonna get that experience, see if it's something you're really passionate about ... while you're doing good at the same time. You're helping and making the world a better place.
[he waves his hands]
BRETT MCKAY: Uh, another benefit of AmeriCorps or Peace Corps is that after you're done, um, you'll get scholarship. You'll be eligible for scholarship money that you can use to pay back your student debt. This is what my wife did when she graduated college, she did AmeriCorps for about a year and a half, and she got some ... y'know, a substantial amount of money that she was able to use to pay back her student loans, which was really great.
[he waves his hands]
BRETT MCKAY: That's another benefit. Um, and the other benefit too is that if you go to ... if you do AmeriCorps and Peace Corps and you do the farming thing, and you decide this is not what you wanna do, and you wanna go back to library sciences or some other thing, you're gonna have this amazing thing on your resume.
[he waves his hands]
BRETT MCKAY: Um, employers are always really impressed when young people do Peace Corps or AmeriCorps. You're not gonna have a gap in your resume, uh, if ... y'know, you might've had if you'd done something else.
[he waves his hands]
BRETT MCKAY: So you're gonna have something really impressive on your resume, that ... it'll look good and help you in other job options.
[he waves his hands]
BRETT MCKAY: So those are my two job recommendations, either go work for a farm on your own or volunteer with Peace Corps and AmeriCorps. I would, if it were me, I would lean towards AmeriCorps/Peace Corps because it's just, uh ... I dunno, it's just a great opportunity.
[he waves his hands]
BRETT MCKAY: Uh, so that's my advice. So I'm gonna turn the time over to you all, the readers and the viewers of The Art of Manliness. Wadda you guys think? What should Mark do? Um, is Mark off his rocker?
[he waves his hands]
BRETT MCKAY: What recommendations do you have for him? And I'd also love to hear if you have stories, uh, where you went to college and you spent four years studying something, and then you just decided to change ... shift gears and do another career? Uh, like in a completely different direction. Uh, because I love to hear those stories. I know they'd be inspiring to Mark, and maybe some other guys out there who are in the same boat.
[he waves his hands]
BRETT MCKAY: So that's it for this week's edition of The ... For Of Man to Man with The Art of Manliness. If you have a question you'd like answered on Man to Man, you can email me at brett at artofmanliness dot com and I'll try to answer that.
[he waves his hands]
BRETT MCKAY: And until next time, this is Brett McKay from The Art of Manliness telling you to stay manly.



Man to Man Episode #3: Should I Change My Career Path?
by Brett on November 7, 2010

Welcome back to another episode of Man to Man. This week's question comes from Mark. He writes:

"You're going to think I'm crazy here, Brett, but I need some advice - man to man.

I'm a student, working toward a degree in library science, and I've nearly reached the end of the college run. It'll be good to be done, I admit. The thing is, though, as the big day draws closer with its attendant cap and gown, I've come to the realization that, well, I don't actually want to be a librarian. As a matter of fact, I don't even want to be an "information specialist." I don't quite know how I came this far without having this realization, but I did. I think denial has something to do with it.

What do I want to do? I want to own a small farm, and run it as a traditional farm, rather than an agribusiness one. Think more along the lines of organic sustainable farming. I also want to do some basic sustainable lumber work during the farming off-season.

Am I utterly off my rocker?"

What Do You Think?

Alright, its your turn. What advice do you have for Mark? Are you a man who went through college only to figure out you didn't want to spend your career working in what you majored in? How did you make the leap to something different?

Please keep your comments uplifting and edifying. I want Man to Man to be a forum where men can feel safe asking and answering these questions.

Case Study No. 0818: Unnamed Female Librarian (Tiny Library)

Tiny Library: Episode #1
A girl runs a tiny library. Starring Kristen Riley and Meg McCarthy.
Tags: Nate Shelkey Kristen Riley comedy library video
Added: 2 years ago
From: nateshelkey
Views: 790

[scene opens with a young female librarian (dark hair in a ponytail, thick glasses, white blouse, red skirt) shelving books in a small bookcase, as her "theme song" plays]

There's not a lotta books here
There's not a lotta stuff to read
There's really only three shelves
It's a tiny library
And if you're feeling bad now 'cause she can't help
And you can't find the books that you want
Remember it's a tiny library
Tiny library
A tiny library

[cut to the librarian sitting next to the bookcase (and checking her watch), when a young female student enters]
[the librarian smiles at her]
STUDENT: Um, I'm doing this research project for school on Amelia Earhart! Is that how you say her name?
[the librarian pauses, staring at her blankly]
LIBRARIAN: [quietly] Yes.
STUDENT: Okay, I was wondering if you could help me out. I don't really know where to begin ...
LIBRARIAN: Okay. Well, you came to the right place. I would suggest going to the microfiche and looking up research articles ...
[she stops and looks around (as if noticing for the first time that the only thing in the room is the book case)]
LIBRARIAN: Um, never mind ... You could look at the encyclopedia.
[she opens the bookcase and takes out a book]
LIBRARIAN: Yeah, right here ... just "A through K."
[cut to the student staring at the book's spine title ("The World Book Dictionary")]
STUDENT: Um, this is a dictionary ...
[cut to a closeup of the librarian's face]
LIBRARIAN: [quietly] Oh.
[the student hands her the book back]
STUDENT: [pause] I'll just Google it.
[the student gives her a confused look, as the librarian hugs the dictionary tightly to her chest]
LIBRARIAN: [quietly] Okay.
[she tries to give a smile, as the student turns to leave and the theme song plays again as the scene fades to black]

Written & Directed
by Nate Shelkey


Kristen Riley
as the Librarian

Meg McCarthy
as the Student

Jake & Bert
as Background Cats

Theme song by Nate Shelkey

Little Ships
Production Company



Kristen and I finally finished making this video we wanted to do for awhile. It's called Tiny Library about a girl who runs a ... well, you'll get the picture.

Case Study No. 0817: "Librarian Stereotypes"

Librarian Stereotypes
For a class assignment, 7 graduate students at Syracuse University made this mockumentary about librarians. We interviewed real librarians and used their answers for two of our interviews while using librarian stereotypes to create answers for the other two.

Who are the real librarians? You decide...
Tags: librarian syracuse stereotype cats mockumentary interview
Added: 2 years ago
From: tophile
Views: 1,161

Seven Syracuse University master of Library Science students set out to discover what librarian stereotypes exist.
The following interviews are dramatized.
Two are based on librarian stereotypes and two are based on fact.
Names and faces have been omitted to protect the identities and professional integrity of the people involved.
Who is a real librarian?
You decide ...

[scene opens with a female librarian (wearing a pink shawl and holding a pair of green sunglasses in her hands) being interviewed, as her head is out of the shot so as to conceal her identity]
INTERVIEWER: [from off camera] Why did you decide to become a librarian?
LIBRARIAN 1: Well, I have a master's degree in art history and ... I couldn't find a job. So, I found out that a lot of museums prefer their curators to have degrees in library science, so here I am!
[cut to a male librarian being interviewed in what appears to be a basement (the sound of a washing machine running can be heard in the background), as his head is also kept out of the shot]
LIBRARIAN 2: Okay, you want the truth? Honestly, I'm a failed writer, but also it's because I live here, so I need a job ... badly.
[cut to another female librarian (with her head out of the shot) being interviewed, as she holds a grey-and-white cat in her lap (the cat is wearing a paper tie around its neck)]
LIBRARIAN 3: Yes, say hi to the camera!
[the cat mews softly]
LIBRARIAN 3: Oh, I know, honey!
INTERVIEWER: [from off camera] Why did you become a librarian?
LIBRARIAN 3: Well ... I love cardigans, Jane Austin, and of course my little Darcy-poo! Hi! Meow!
[cut to another female librarian (sitting at a computer desk and holding a book) being interviewed, with her head kept out of the shot]
LIBRARIAN 4: Well, I started studying practicing law, but I actually realized that I enjoyed researching it more.
[cut back to the librarian with the cat]
INTERVIEWER: [from off camera] What were people's reactions when you first told them that you wanted to be a librarian?
LIBRARIAN 3: Well, my friends told me I should start wearing my hair in a bun, and my mom told me that I would be an old maid one day, but I don't believe her.
[she hugs the cat]
LIBRARIAN 3: Hi, baby! Come on, it's okay!
[cut back to the male librarian in the basement]
MOTHER: [from off camera] Sweetie! Remember to put the socks in the dryer!
[he sighs and gets up]
LIBRARIAN 2: Alright ...
[cut back to the librarian at the computer desk]
LIBRARIAN 4: Well, they were really supportive, but ... um, my in-laws actually introduced me as a lawyer for about four years after I graduated.
[cut back to the librarian with the pink shawl]
LIBRARIAN 1: Uh, my family, especially my dad, was very supportive. Uh, they thought it would be a good idea ... y'know, anything to advance my career.
[cut back to the librarian at the computer desk]
INTERVIEWER: [from off camera] How did their reactions make you feel?
LIBRARIAN 4: Uh, it was funny to be introduced as a lawyer, but I'm just ... uh, I wanted to be more truthful. I'm a librarian, not a lawyer.
[cut back to the librarian with the cat]
LIBRARIAN 3: Well, my cats have been really supportive! Yeah, haven't you, baby? You wanna say hi?
[the cat mews softly]
[cut back to the male librarian in the basement]
LIBRARIAN 2: Well, my mom was really happy because I can finally move outta here.
[cut back to the librarian with the pink shawl]
LIBRARIAN 1: I felt really good. I mean, they've supported me through my master's program before, and they're continuing to do so now. So, yeah, I'm grateful.
[cut back to the male librarian in the basement]
INTERVIEWER: [from off camera] Do you have a cat?
LIBRARIAN 2: Honestly, cats don't like me very much ... I did have a dog pee on my leg once, though.
[cut back to the librarian at the computer desk]
LIBRARIAN 4: Unfortunately, I have allergies. I used to have a cat, but now I don't.
[cut back to the librarian with the pink shawl]
LIBRARIAN 1: Yes. Um, my parents gave me a cat to help me stop smoking ... I still smoke. It didn't work. I'm still trying, though, I'm still trying. Uh, but yes, I have a cat, and that's why I have a cat.
[cut back to the librarian with the cat]
LIBRARIAN 3: Yes! This one here is Darcy!
[she holds up the cat]
LIBRARIAN 3: Hi! Then over there is Lizzy ... and Jane and Bingley are around here somewhere. And Lydia and Wickham are in the carrier, but they don't really seem to come out of it that much. I really don't know why.
[cut back to the librarian at the computer desk]
INTERVIEWER: [from off camera] Before you became a librarian, what did you think a librarian was?
LIBRARIAN 4: Well, I had worked with law librarians during my undergrad, so I got a basic feel for what they do through that.
[cut back to the librarian with the cat]
LIBRARIAN 3: Well, my best friends were the public librarians at my local community library. They were always giving me book recommendations, and letting me use the circulation desk scanner ... It was honestly some of the best summers I had in high school! I never liked partying, give me a book anyday. But I realized that librarians, they are the best people in the world! They give you answers to questions, and they really make a child smile!
[she holds up the cat]
LIBRARIAN 3: And of course, look! We get the best friends in the world, huh Darcy?
[cut back to the male librarian in the basement, who sighs deeply]
INTERVIEWER: [from off camera] You look really unhapp--
[cut back to the librarian with the pink shawl]
LIBRARIAN 1: Well, of course, I knew all the regular things, like they work with books and they work with catalogs. Um, I knew that they worked with users of the library a lot, because when I got my master's degree, they helped me with my studies. Um, yeah, that was my perception.
[cut back to the male librarian in the basement]
LIBRARIAN 2: Honestly, I didn't know what a librarian was. I knew they were behind the desk, with books ... some of them were kinda hot. That's basically it.
[cut back to the librarian at the computer desk]
INTERVIEWER: [from off camera] Now that you are a librarian, has your perception of the profession changed?
LIBRARIAN 4: Um, somewhat. I didn't actually realize that they could be so whiny ... but don't tell anyone I said that.
[cut back to the librarian with the cat]
LIBRARIAN 3: Not really ... Well, my librarians taught me everything I know, and they taught me what to look for. Basically, I know everything, because I am the best librarian in the world! And of course, Darcy is my number one supporter, and I bounce all my ideas off of him!
[cut to the librarian with the pink shawl]
LIBRARIAN 1: Well, like I said before, I did know that they already did a lot. Um, but I didn't know the variety of fields that they could go into. Um, I didn't realize that librarians worked for the CIA ... Um, originally when I got my art history degree, I didn't realize that a degree in library science would also be useful in that field either. So yeah, I learned that it's applicable to a lot of different fields.
[cut back to the male librarian in the basement]
LIBRARIAN 2: Man, I had no idea ... It turns out a lotta them are really old. I haven't met one hot librarian chick yet.
[cut back to the librarian with the cat]
LIBRARIAN 3: Hi, baby! Oh my goodness, you are so cute! Don't you love his tie? We spent hours picking it out! Doesn't it bring out the color in his eyes?
[she kisses the cat]
LIBRARIAN 3: Hi, baby!
[the cat starts to squirm]
LIBRARIAN 3: Honey, don't go away! Come on, it's okay, don't be camera shy ... baby!

From Dave Lankes' IST 511 class in Fall 2010:

Patty Alvayay
Tessa Brawley
Sara Hulka
Ryan Johnson
Allie Kowalski
Margaret Portier
Emily Weyant

And Lizzy as Mr. Darcy



POSTED BY margaret portier

I have to say, the second rapid response assignment for 511 was probably the most fun I have had doing classwork since 6th grade when we did medieval day and got to wear costumes to school. My group made a video with "interviews" with two fake and two real librarians to kinda show the differences between the stereotype and the real thing. Coming up with the script was fun and then filming was HILARIOUS. There's even an outtake at the end because we were cracking up so much. Once filming was done, I got to learn how to edit a video. I can't tell you how excited we were when we realized we could add music to the introduction and the closing credits. Anyone recognize the song? That's right, it's Lady Gaga's Disco Heaven.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Case Study No. 0816: Reference Librarian at Bodleian Library

Let's play: Gray Matter 021
We head to the library, because you can get books there!
Tags: 021 Let's play let us gray matter riiser the webcomic web comic relief jane jensen puzzle game teen interest cutscene horror console gameplay playthrough you playthrough part walkthrough science fiction live subtitles gaming video game magician games library
Added: 1 year ago
From: WebcomicRelief
Views: 134

[Samantha Everett enters the Bodleian Library at the University of Oxford, but she needs an ID card to activiate the turnstile in order to get in]
SAM: [to herself] Damn, you need a student ID to use the library. Whatever happened to freedom of information?
[the player selects "Helena Beaugard" (who is studying at one of the tables in the main reading room), so Sam calls over to her from the entranceway]
SAM: [whispers] Helena, Helena!
HELENA: [whispers] What are you doing? Why don't you come inside?
[cut to Helena standing at the entranceway to speak with Sam, as the player selects "Borrow ID"]
SAM: I left my ID in my room. Can I swipe yours?
HELENA: No. You'll get me expelled, goth girl. Besides, walking is good exercise.
[the player selects "Borrow ID!" again]
SAM: Come on! Just one swipe ... I'll do it so no one can see.
HELENA: No! I had to go twice to get a decent picture on my ID. I'm not going to risk getting it confiscated.
[the player selects "Redoing ID"]
SAM: You can do that? Get your ID redone?
HELENA: I told them I lost it ... What can they say? I had no choice, the picture was hideous.
[the player selects "Why is she here?"]
SAM: I didn't expect to find you in the library. How hard can art history be?
HELENA: Hard enough. But if you want to know why I'm here ... Charles Ettington.
SAM: Well! Good luck with the stalking ...
[the player selects "Let me see the picture"]
SAM: That bad, huh? Hard to believe. Do you still have the old ID? Let me see.
HELENA: It's awful.
SAM: Let me see!
[Helena takes out both of her IDs and places them on top of the turnstile]
HELENA: The second one is much better. Don't you agree?
[cut to a closeup of the two cards ("Helena Beaugard Student I.D., St. Edmund College"), as the player highlights "Helena's old ID card" and selects "Can you put a paper bag over that picture?"; "You look like you're on drugs"; "You should charge that photographer with libel"]
HELENA: God! I didn't think it was that hideous! I'll burn it when I get back to my room.
[the player highlights "Helena's new ID card" and selects "Now that's a good picture"; "You look cute in this one, better than in person"; "You look like a top model on this one!"]
HELENA: Well, I think the new one is much better ...
[she takes the cards and puts them back into her pocket, then cut back to Sam by herself at the entranceway, as the player selects "Magic Tricks"]

Several things a professional magician needs to remember:
In the first place, you need to choose the right trick according to your situation. Browse through the book to find it.
Once you have made your choice, mentally prepare yourself to pull it off. Consider the moves you need to make and remember to line up the right amount of steps.
If you make a mistake, you will have to go back to the last correct move. So beware losing your concentration!
When you have the right sequence memorised, you're ready to perform the trick.

A professional stage magician employs simple moves:
"Load" an object from your inventory to a secret location on your body.
"Palm" an object from the inventory or from a location on your body.
"Vanish" an object from a hand to a pocket or a sleeve.
"Move" an object from hand to hand.
"Take" an object from the environment into a hand.
"Plant" an object from a hand into the environment.
"Manipulate" an object in your hand.
"Misdirect" your audience.

[the player goes to the list of available tricks and selects "Destroyed and Returned Ring Trick"]
SAM: [to herself] I could use that trick. But I need to place something in the environment first.
[the player selects "?", as Sam walks towards the paper shredder located in the entranceway]
SAM: [to herself] I could use that paper shredder in tricking Helena. But I need to put the right prop in it.
[the player goes to his inventory and selects "Shredded paper noisemaker", as Sam places it into the machine]
SAM: [to herself] There.
[the player selects "Magic Tricks" again, as the scene changes to the "Magic Tricks" screen (featuring an image of Sam looking directly at the camera)]

"The Destroyed and Restored Ring Trick"
There's nothing that will get people upset like destroying a treasured heirloom!
Gradma's cameo, perhaps? Or sis's brand-new engagement ring? For this trick you will need a cheap remote-controlled noisemaker that makes a crunching/grinding sound.

1. Before your victim shows up, place the noisemaker inside your kitchen sink's garbage disposal. A paper shredder will work if you're at the office.
2. Palm the noisemaker's remote control in your left hand.
3. Lure your victim close to the garbage disposal or shredder. Get them to give up their ring for inspection. Take the ring in your right hand.
4. Manipulate the ring, pretending to throw the ring overhand into the sink or shredder. Misdirect your victime by watching the "trajectory" with your eyes.
5. Manipulate the remote control in your palm to set off the noisemaker.
6. While your audience is panicking, you can vanish the ring up your right sleeve.
7. Later you can "restore" the ring at your convenience. Ha ha! Good times!

[the player selects "Noisemaker remote" and places it in Sam's left hand, then selects "Helena's old ID card" and places it in Sam's right hand]
[the player selects "Manipulate right item"]
[the player selects "Misdirect"]
[the player selects "Manipulate left item"]
[the player selects "Helena's old ID card" and places it in Sam's right sleeve]

1. Palm Noisemaker remote in Left hand
2. Take Helena's old ID card in Right hand
3. Manipulate Helena's old ID card in Right Hand
4. Misdirect
5. Manipulate Noisemaker remote in Left hand
6. Vanish Helena's old ID card in Right sleeve

[cut back to the library, as Sam calls to Helena again]
SAM: Helena! Helena!
[cut to Helena standing at the entranceway to speak with Sam, with the two cards on the turnstile]
SAM: Hey.
HELENA: [annoyed] What?
SAM: I actually like the first photo better. It's the way you were sitting.
HELENA: You're hallucinating ... Show me.
SAM: No, it was a trick of the light ... The first one really is awful. God!
[she shudders]
SAM: You're right. You should burn it. In fact ...
[she takes the old ID card and pretends to throw it into the paper shredder (palming it with her right hand while using the remote control in her left hand to activate the noisemaker)]
HELENA: Why did you do that?
SAM: [innocently] You said you were gonna burn it ... I'm sorry. Did you want it?
HELENA: So kind of you to spare me all that tedious labour ... God, you're a freak! And I thought I was bad.
[cut back to Sam alone at the entranceway, as the player selects "Look"]
SAM: [to herself] It's a paper shredder.
[the player checks his inventory and selects "Helena's ID"]
SAM: [to herself] That will have to do for now. Luckily, the library card reader doesn't care what the photo looks like.
[Sam uses the card to swipe it through the turnstile and enter the library]
["Achievement unlocked - Sam gets carded" appears on screen, as the player walks up to the bookshelves and selects "Books"]
SAM: [to herself] If I had to search through all this, I'd never see daylight again. There must be a way to look up something specific.
[the player selects "Busts"]
SAM: [to herself] Probably some famous graduates.
[the player walks up to the reference desk and selects "Paper stack"]
SAM: [to herself] Stacks of blank paper. I don't need any right now, but it's nice to know Oxford is generous with office supplies.
[the player selects "Reference librarian", as Sam walks up to the elderly female librarian sitting at the desk]
SAM: Hi.
REFERENCE LIBRARIAN: How may I be of service?
[the player selects "Oxford professors"]
SAM: Where can I find information about the professors here at Oxford?
REFERENCE LIBRARIAN: Ah, that depends. To whom do you refer?
SAM: Doctor David Styles. Neurobiology.
REFERENCE LIBRARIAN: Mmmm. Start with the library catalogue. You can access it on the computers, over there.
[the player selects "Computer terminals", as Sam walks over and accesses the catalog]
[cut to a closeup of the OLIS (Oxford Libraries Information System) on the computer screen, as Sam types in "David Styles"]

Best Matches
* David Styles
Good Matches
* Jean-Paco Styles

[Sam clicks on "David Styles", then clicks on the entry under "November 1996"]
SAM: [reading] "The London Times, Royalty and Other Distinguished Gentlemen. The big event of this past weekend was the Eggerton soiree, an annual event not to be missed by the rich and fabulous. The star of the evening was to be Prince Charles, who arrived at the party solo. He seemed to be quite enjoying his newly divorced status. But in truth, all of the single dames were not lining up to meet the Prince of Wales but the Prince of Oxford, Doctor David Styles. As if being devastatingly handsome and the scion of a wealthy family weren't enough, he's a shooting star at University. He's become a well-known figure thanks to his popular articles and TV appearances, doing for Neurobiology what Stephen Hawking did for Physics. This reporter can't help but wonder how he'll find time to fit in his lectures with all the party invitations he's been receiving."
[the player clicks on the entry under "May 1997", as the screen displays the message "'Extraordinary Powers of Ordinary Minds' is not available. Please see the reference librarian for access to the periodical archives."]
SAM: [to herself] That's the article I got from David's filing cabinet.
[the player clicks on the entry under "5 May 1997"]
SAM: [reading] "The London Times, Spring Is for Lovers. Romance is a hot topic in the Spring. All creatures, great and small, get that loving look in their eyes and pair off to do what comes naturally. Frederica Friedmont and Jeremy Stanton were seen canoodling over drinks at a posh London nightclub. Actress Marie Laurel and businessman Domick Durst were 'outed' when they were caught red-handed in Hyde Park. But the biggest 'It' couple this Spring has to be Doctor David Styles, the Oxford neurobiologist who has been considered the bachelor of the season, and his new flame Laura Edmondthorpe, the beautiful daughter of Lord Edmondthorpe. The pair have been inseparable since meeting at a New Year's Eve celebration and they don't seem to care who knows it. Ah, young love."
[the player clicks on the entry under "18 May 1997"]
SAM: [reading] "The Oxford Student. Styles, Hopkins Tops in Student Poll. This year's OxStu students' choice poll ranked Christ Church and Queen's as the favourite colleges among Oxford students. 'Favourite local restaurant' went to Stew Pot on St. Giles. Fitzgerald's won for best Oxford pub, smoking the nearest competitor by ten to one. Among professors, Felix Hopkins, who teaches Medieval History at Queen's, and David Styles, of the Radcliffe Neurobiology Department, drew this year's top honours. A favourite part of Hopkins's Crusades lectures is a battle re-enactment in Christ Church Meadows, which has become a great hurrah for participants and spectators alike. Styles is a fave thanks to his 'fresh and exciting approach' to the study of the mind and human potential."
[the player clicks on the entry under "August 1998"]
SAM: [reading] "The London Times, Fairy Tale Weddings. August weddings were bigger and bolder than ever this year. The Marquise de Charlforte and her American husband, Frank Lovetts, overflowed Winchester Cathedral with white roses and created quite a spectacle for their three-hundred-plus guests. Garish? It's all a matter of taste, darling, and money! When it comes to understated elegance, nothing topped the union of Laura Edmondthorpe and Doctor David Styles in Westminster Abbey. The bride was a radiant blonde beauty in a plain white stain sheath - all the better to create nail biting envy over her long and lean figure. David Styles created quite a contrast with his striking dark looks and black tux. Two white horses pulled their carriage off into the sunset ... and no doubt into a perfect future."
[the player clicks on the entry under "23 October 2002", then cut to a cutscene as Sam looks at the headline "Car Accident Claims the Life of Prominent Socialite"]
SAM: [reading] "Doctor David Styles and his wife Laura Edmondthorpe-Styles left a fund raising dinner in Oxford last evening and were driving home when ... when their car was hit broadside."
[cut to a closeup of a photo of the car wreckage]
SAM: [reading] "According to eyewitnesses, the second vehicle was hurtling down a crossroad at a tremendous speed. It ran a give way sign and plunged into ... "
[cut to a closeup of Sam's face]
SAM: [reading] "Laura Styles was pronounced dead on the scene, and David Styles was rushed--"
[she closes her eyes, then cut to a flashback of Sam (as a little girl) as an older woman enters the room]
WOMAN: Samantha, please ... They're not coming home.
[cut to another flashback of young Sam being picked up by an older man]
MAN: Come on, kid ... Time to go.
[cut back to Sam in the library, as the player is able to read the article in full in the Bodleian library archives]
SAM: [reading] "The London Times, Car Accident Claims the Life of Prominent Socialite. Doctor David Styles and and his wife Laura Edmondthorpe-Styles left a fund raising dinner in Oxford last evening and were driving home when their Bentley was hit broadside at a junction. According to eyewitnesses, the second vehicle was hurtling down the road tremendous speed. It plunged into they Styleses' vehicle as it was going through the junction. David Styles, who was at the wheel, was thrown from the car on impact. Laura Styles was trapped in her seat as the car was consumed in flames. Laura Styles was pronounced dead on the scene and David Styles was rushed to the Accident and Emergency facility at John Radcliffe Hospital where he is reported to be in stable condition."



Gray Matter is a point-and-click adventure video game designed by Jane Jensen, renowned for the Sierra Entertainment Gabriel Knight series. The game was developed by Wizarbox and published by dtp entertainment for Microsoft Windows and Xbox 360. It was released on November 2010 in Continental Europe and in English-speaking territories in 2011.

The game takes place in Oxford and, to a lesser extent, in London. It follows the story of Samantha Everett, a street performer and magician, and Professor David Styles, an acclaimed and mysterious neurobiologist.

The opening scene of the game depicts Sam riding her motorcycle in the rain in the countryside while traveling to London, and accidentally being redirected to Oxford because of a broken street sign. Her bike breaks down, forcing her to take shelter in Dread Hill, a nearby mansion where David resides. She poses as an Oxford student responding to Styles' request for a research assistant.

Eventually, Sam is ordered to recruit six students as test subjects for David's research. Through clever manipulation and magic tricks, Sam manages to find four students willing to volunteer for the experiment. The professor recalls her to Dread Hill, letting her know that he found a fifth candidate and making Sam herself the sixth.

As the game progresses, Sam learns about the professor's past, his research on the paranormal, the prestigious members-only Daedalus magic club, a series of bizarre events that take place at Oxford University, and how these elements are connected.



Sam gets carded:

St. Edmund Hall: See the student volunteers. They exchange cell phone numbers and talk about the experiment.

Sam is to check more about the experiment and Dr. Styles at the library. She will meet them back here at noon.

Bodleian Library: Jump to the library. Sam finds out that she needs a student ID to use the library. Look around.

Helena: Talk to Helena sitting at front table. Learn that she has 2 IDs because the first one is hideous.

Helena shows both ID. Select 3 bad comments for Helena's old ID card. Select 3 good comments for Helena's new ID card. Helena takes the cards and sits down.

Select the magic trick: Right click the magic book in inventory and then click on Helena.

Open the magic book and turn the pages to The Destroyed and Restored Ring trick.

Click on The Destroyed and Restored Ring trick page to select the trick.

Prepare for the trick: Sam says she needs a noisemaker first.

Jump to Town Centre and then go to Black Wand Shop. Enter the shop.

Look close at the store shelf at right. Pick up the shredded paper noisemaker at middle left shelf. Exit the store.

Jump back to library.

Place the shredded paper noisemaker in the paper shredder beside Sam.

Trick: Use the magic book on Helena to get the preparation frame.

Place the noisemaker remote from inventory on left hand slot.

Place Helena's old ID in right hand slot.

Manipulate Helena's old ID.


Manipulate left item - remote control.

Place Helena's old ID on right sleeve slot.

Click on magic wand.

Watch Sam do the trick and get Helena's old ID.

Use Helena's ID on the turnstile to enter the library.

The Mysterious Dr. Styles:

Bodleian Library:

Computer search: Talk to the Reference Librarian about Oxford Professors. She refers Sam to the computer.

Go to the computer terminal on the table left of Helena. Automatically a search is done.

Click on the dates at left and read the newspaper articles. Learn how popular Dr. Styles was.

An article "Extraordinary Powers of Ordinary Minds" is not available.

Learn about the romance between Dr. Styles and Laura Edmonthorpe and subsequent wedding at Westminster Abbey in 1998.

Sam reads about the car accident that killed Laura on 23, October 2002.

Sam gets a flashback of when she was a child waiting for her parents and taken by the State.

Talk to the Reference Librarian about the not available Scientific American article. There are 2 journals but both are missing.

Dread Hill House:

Jump to Dread Hill House.

The phone rings. Sam answers the phone and fields the question about a new assistant.

Mrs. Dalton: Go to the kitchen. Now we know why the calendar on the noticeboard is on October 2002.

Talk to Mrs. Dalton.

Sam's bedroom: Go upstairs to Sam's bedroom.

Use the wild flowers on the glass beside the photo of Sam's parents.

Sam plays lab assistant:

Basement Hall: Go down to the Basement Hall. Look around.

Main lab: Enter the main lab. Look around.

Look at the desk at left. Use the wild flowers on the dead roses on a vase beside the photo of Laura.

Check the appointment book beside the picture.

Read the Note of Instructions left by Dr. Styles.

Read the note from Susan Whittier of Oxford Radcliffe Hospitals. She wants the contractor's report of the donated equipment.

File cabinet: Go to the file cabinet beside the exit door. See a close up of the instructions and the folders to be filed.

File: File folder by the first letter except for his publications which should be filed under P and those about Oxford to be filed under O.

Click on the file cabinet the folder is to go in to.

MRI, Published 1999 is to go under P.

Search: After filing, click each cabinet to check the contents.

Under E, check-read the Scientific American article "Extraordinary Powers of Ordinary Minds".

Under F, take the fMRI delivery (donation) receipt.

Under F, read the Linkweller article.

Under N, take the Neurobiology Dept. Staff (phone) List. It has the names and office and phone numbers of the Staff in 2001.



Episode V: Venerable Repository of Knowledge

And so we discover that Dr. Styles and Samantha might have more in common than we thought. Will the shared tragedies of their lives bring them together?

Sam: Hi.
Librarian: How may I be of service?
["Scientific American" article]
Sam: There's an article I need from a magazine. The computer said to ask you.
Librarian: Name of publication and the date, please.
Sam: Scientific American, May 1997.
Librarian: I apologize, we had two copies of that issue, but both are listed as missing.
Sam: Missing? How does that happen?
Librarian: They might have been misfiled. They might've been stolen. In any case, I can't help you ... You might try the Central Library in London.
Sam: How convenient.

Not much left to do ... besides finishing the background check on Styles.

Let's return to Dread Hill House and check David's lab for that article!

Mrs. Dalton: Oh hello, Sam. Can I get you anything?
Sam: Not right now, thanks.

We have been specifically asked not to mention the accident. So let's discuss it in excruciating detail.

Sam: I ... I just found out what happened to Laura.
Mrs. Dalton: Everyone knows about the tragedy.
Sam: Well, I'm new to Oxford, and I didn't know. I'm really sorry.
Mrs. Dalton: You didn't ask him, did you? I hope to heaven, Samantha, that you weren't asking any painful questions!
Sam: No ... no.
Mrs. Dalton: Well don't. The poor man doesn't need to be reminded. Not that he isn't every day of his blinkin' life. He can't stand people talking about it. That's why he won't let anyone come over here.
Sam: But this house is full of reminders! Laura's pictures are everywhere. Even that calendar is still set to 2002.
Mrs. Dalton: He won't let me change any of it.
Sam: I get it. He wants to be reminded of her, for his own self, but he can't bare to hear other people talk about it because there's no way they can possibly understand, and anything they say just seems idiotic.
Mrs. Dalton: Maybe that's right, I don't know. In any case, I thank you to avoid the subject with him completely. Doesn't he have enough troubles on his mind already?

Okay, let's head for David's lab in the basement and check the file cabinet.

[L drawer - "Linkweller's Article"]

Sam: Something written by Doctor Abram Linkweller. This might be interesting.


"Ordinary Powers of Extraordinary Minds"

Some of my misguided colleagues have claimed that the
human brain will develop "extraordinary abilities" in the
future, going as far as to insist it will happen in the next 50
years. This is the worst kind of pseudo-science and magi-
cal thinking. The truth is, there is no evidence that our
brains have undergone any serious evolution since we
hunted with bow and arrow and drug our kill back to the

The drive for shelter, food, sex and security are as funda-
mental to our society as they ever were. And we solve
problems in the same way - not be developing supernatu-
ral powers but by good old-fashioned cogitation. When
our modern world made swift travel over long distances
desirable, did we evolve the ability to fly? No! We used the
same mental thought processes that invented the wheel to
invent the airplane.

The scientific reality is that the brain is well understood.
It doesn't have any "extraordinary powers" and doesn't
need any. The ordinary brain is miraculous enough.

Sam: This certainly is bluntly written, but I think I'm missing something. I need to find some of Doctor Styles' articles.

Linkweller ridiculed Styles' more ... non-conventional approach to neurobiology.

What exactly did Styles write to make Linkweller so angry, though?

[E drawer - "Extraordinary Powers of Ordinary Minds"]

Sam: This should be enlightening.

May 1997

"Extraordinary Powers of Ordinary Minds"
by Dr. David Styles

We've all heard the news that we only use one tenth the capacity of our brain. But why
is that the case, and what intriguing possibilities lay in those dormant sections of gray

There are billions of neural connections in the brain. When an infant is born, their neurons are
still 'sending out test flares' to other neurons and gauging the response. Our brains 'prune' con-
nections that aren't productive and 'strengthen' connections that are. The early years in which
we experience our world sets our neural wiring for life.

There are entire networks of potential connections that are unused because, in our infant life,
we did not find a need for them. We find proof in a few extraordinary cases such as the boy who
was blind from birth and developed a bat-like ability to sense objects. He could ride his bicycle
at terrific speeds despite his lack of sight.

And our species continues to evolve new mental capabilities. Scholars believe that the ancient
Greeks did not see as many colors as we do today. An early Christian historian commented on
how brilliant St. Augustine was because when he read to himself you couldn't see his lips move!

Fields outside neurobiology give us clues to the potential of the brain. Physics has shown that
our brain has a special relationship with the world of matter. When we are not perceiving a sub-
atomic particle, it is a wave, but when the human brain turns its attention on it, the particle
changes form, behaving like solid matter. In the areas of Psi research, scientists have demon-
strated that the brain is capable of abilities that have no explanation according to the currently
understood picture of the brain or even that of time and space.

In the next fifty years we will begin to discover just how extraordinary our minds might be, how
deeply interconnected our brains are to physical reality and vice versa, and how we can awaken
new potential within the human mind.

Sam: Doctor Styles writes well, but I don't believe in Psi powers or the paranormal or any of that stuff.

Those are umm ... progressive theories.

Case Study No. 0815: Staff of Berger Memorial Library

Felicity - Noel & Felicity In The Stacks.
Noel and Felic escape to the stacks during finals to get a lil' one-on-one time. Respect.
Tags: felicity porter noel crane library stacks finals wb season one making out kissing
Added: 6 years ago
From: bluejeanbabyamy
Views: 32,270


Season 1, Episode 10 ("Finally"): Though finals and Christmas break are fast approaching, Felicity spends most of her study time in the library literally wrapped up in Noel, as well as helping Ben prepare for a poetry test. Meanwhile, Sean tries to sell fruit to students in the library.



Sean asks Ben for help lugging something into the loft. Sean explains that with finals going on, the library is open twenty-four hours a day. Sean asks Ben, "What is the one thing desperate college students need to stay alive?" Beer? Bad television shows? Candy? No-Doz? There are so many possible answers to that question. Ben looks at the boxes they just carried in, and ventures, "I'm gonna say, fruit." Sean explains that he's going to take a cooler filled with fruit into the library and sell fruit by the piece. Sean asks Ben how his studying is going; Ben says it's going "crappy," and that he's going to go find someone with whom to study. Sean tells Ben that he can't flunk out, because Sean relies on Ben's rent check. That Sean is so sensitive. Ben sarcastically thanks Sean for the additional pressure "from the fruit guy." On the way out, Ben grabs an apple, and Sean yells that Ben owes him a dollar. As Ben walks out, Sean reconsiders and mutters, "Two dollars." Heh.


A title screen appears which reads, "University of New York. Berger Memorial Library. 8:00:03 pm. 36 hours to finals." Various students study in the library. Knoll and Felicity sit at a study carrel. Felicity explains the themes of Great Expectations to Knoll, who is sniffing her. No, really. Knoll asks whether Felicity wears powder. Felicity asks whether Knoll is learning anything, and Knoll replies, "Honestly, the way you smell, I'm forgetting things that I learned in high school." Felicity realizes that maybe studying in the same cubicle isn't the best thing. Knoll asks all hornily whether Felicity has thought about their situation, and Felicity tries to deflect, but Knoll leans in and starts kissing her. He actually gets up and straddles her while kissing, knocking over Felicity's chair; other students to tell them to get a room. Felicity and Knoll are sprawled on the floor. Knoll asks whether anyone has the time, and some girl replies that it's almost nine. Felicity and Knoll get up.

Title Screen. "3rd Floor Reading Room. 10:34:38 pm. 33 hrs, 26 mins to finals." In a nice touch, the seconds on the title card keep counting up, to signify the feeling you get during finals week that time is just running out, and you will never get caught up. Felicity and Knoll sit across from each other at a table. Felicity continues to explain Great Expectations, but Knoll just stares at her with a moony look on his face. The explanation that Felicity is giving is probably relevant. She is saying that while everyone has great expectations -- crazy dreams for the future -- Dickens says that we can mature and grow out of them. Felicity notices Knoll's staring and shuts up. Knoll says, mock-serious, "We came here to study, okay, not to flirt. So cut it out." Felicity laughs and complains that she has her own work to do, and that Knoll isn't listening to her at all. Felicity asks whether Knoll remembers one thing from the book. Knoll replies, "Yeah, that, uh, sacrifice and passion, even if it's [sic] unappreciated, or taken for granted, um, in the end is meaningful and good." Felicity whispers, "Let's go up to the stacks." Knoll asks, "And make out until finals are over?" Felicity clarifies, "Just for, like, an hour." They quickly grab their books and run out.


Up in the stacks, Felicity and Knoll make out. Knoll is, like, talking while they are kissing, for some reason. Oh, he's still trying to define their relationship. Knoll notices Richard standing there staring at them. Knoll says hello. Richard says that Knoll is the RA, and that he's not supposed to be kissing a student. Knoll tries to claim that they weren't exactly kissing. Richard replies, "I'm going to report you! I'm going to report your ass!" and runs off. Knoll tosses Felicity aside and takes off after Richard.

Title Screen. "Card Catalog Junction. 11:15:06 pm. 32 hrs, 45 minutes to finals." Do college libraries still have card catalogs? Even when I was in college, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth, card catalogs were being pushed aside in favor of computers. Anyway, Sean is walking around trying to shill his fresh fruit, with no luck. I still think he would have a better time of it selling candy and soda. Sean spies Elena, who says that she doesn't need any fruit. Sean asks her whether she knows what happens to a body when it's denied vitamin C. I'm assuming he doesn't mean the singer, because we've all been denied her services for about a year now, since she kind of faded into obscurity. Elena replies, "Do you know what happens to a man whose ass I kick?" Not yet, but Richard's going to find out in a few seasons. Sean points out that eating candy will give Elena a sugar crash soon. Felicity walks up and sits down, asking whether either Sean or Elena has seen Knoll. Sean shills some more, asking whether Felicity knows about the connection between vitamin C and infertility. Felicity says that she doesn't want to get pregnant; she just wants to pass her finals. Sean takes the hint and leaves.


Title Card. "Silent Reading Room. 3:17:50 am. 28 hrs. 43 mins. to finals." The music from the previous scene abruptly cuts off. Ben and Felicity study. This scene, like the previous one set in the Silent Reading Room, is subtitled, but Ben and Felicity are talking a little bit louder than Julie and Ben were, earning them dirty looks from other people in the room. Ben looks around goofily and then whispers, and it's still captioned.

Ben: The reason that I asked about you and Noel...
Felicity: Yeah?
Ben: Is that um...I saw you in the bathroom.
Felicity: [normal voice] Oh. Uh huh.
Everyone Else in the Room: Shhhh!
Some Guy: [normal voice] Come on, man. [Some students stand up and leave the room.]
Ben: Sorry. Sorry. [to Felicity] I was just...I was just, you know, wondering...
Felicity: Yeah?
Ben: I don't know. I'm just curious, I guess, of what you guys are? [off Felicity's look] I know it's none of my business.
Felicity: No, it's a...that's a good question. You saw us kissing?
Ben: Yeah, that was an accident.
Felicity: Oh.
Ben: I'm sorry.
Felicity: Um...

Cut to Knoll, pacing the library halls. The music is back, and it seems to get louder each time we return to Knoll, but maybe it just seems that way in contrast with the near total silence of the Ben/Felicity scenes. Knoll looks through a door and sees Ben and Felicity studying together. Knoll says (and it's captioned), "Arrgggh!"

Back in the reading room, Felicity tells Ben that Knoll is probably the greatest guy she knows. She lists Knoll's attributes. Ben agrees that Knoll seems cool. Felicity says that it's more than that; Knoll is her best friend.

Out in the hall, Knoll furiously runs his hands through his hair, and then checks back to see Ben and Felicity still whispering together. He furiously takes off.

In the reading room, Felicity is still telling Ben how great Knoll is (and it's still entirely subtitled.)

Felicity: And when you need help with anything, Knoll is one of the most level-headed guys I know.
Knoll: [bursting into the reading room and yelling at the top of his lungs, but it's still captioned] This is unacceptable! [Felicity and Ben look up.] You blow me off to come here with him? Do you think I'm going to let myself sit here and get jerked around like that? Well, guess what? No!
Ben: [normal voice] She is just helping me study.
Knoll: [still yelling] Well, that's funny, because she's supposed to be helping me! [Felicity puts her head in her hand in dismay.]
Ben: [now yelling too] Well, she owes me this!
Knoll: Well, she's supposed to be liking me!
Felicity: [fed up] Okay, you know what? You guys figure it out.
Knoll and Ben: Huh?
Felicity: I've been so busy helping both of you that I haven't spent any time doing any work for me, and that's just stupid.
Knoll: Where are you going?
Felicity: [gathering her things] To study. To have some personal space. Excuse me. [to the room] And I know. Shhhh! Sorry for the disruption.
[Felicity leaves and Knoll runs his hands through his hair in frustration.]
Richard: [who has been sitting there the whole time] You! [pointing at Knoll] Are definitely not fit to be an RA. [grabs coat and leaves]

Ben bursts out laughing. Knoll looks extremely frustrated and sweaty and at a loss for words, so he just walks out of the room.


Cut to Felicity making a tape for Sally, saying, "Noel is such a freak!" Felicity goes on to say that finals were starting the next day, and that she knew that she would be in hell for three days. Felicity is relieved that Elena finally taught her the studying system.

Ella Fitzgerald sings "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" as Elena teaches the system to Felicity in the library. Felicity voice-overs that it was her first college finals experience, and she found it amazing that "in this one concentrated place for this one concentrated time, everyone -- people I knew, people I didn't know, everyone -- was working so hard." We see a long pan of the library, filled with people studying, concluding with Felicity and Elena doing the system. Some guy hangs up a sign that says, "During this time, absolute silence is required!!!" He turns and gives Felicity a pointed look.

Case Study No. 0814: Unnamed Female Librarian (StarHub)

StarHub Happy Talk Library
From 28 May 2010, StarHub will start offering HappyTalk, a new benefit that gives mobile customers an extra 300 minutes of talktime every month to make local outgoing calls.

Available to all customers on any 3G SmartSurf or PowerValue plan, HappyTalk minutes are on top of the bundled local minutes that the respective mobile packages offer, and best of all, at no additional monthly charges to the customer!

Customers with HappyTalk minutes could utilise the additional free local minutes to enjoy MyZone, MyCircle or MyTime service, based on their lifestyle preference.

MyZone -- Whether at school, work or play, customers can make free local calls to phone numbers on any network at 37 campuses, 11 military camps and four popular shopping malls, namely ION Orchard, Plaza Singapura, Raffles City Shopping Centre and Bugis Junction where they can talk on the mobile freely while shopping or feasting. Please refer to the editor's notes for the list of MyZone locations.

MyCircle -- Customers can make free local outgoing calls to three of their favourite StarHub Mobile or fixed-line numbers. They also enjoy additional free 500 outgoing SMS/MMS to these selected numbers, in excess of the bundled SMS/MMS on their mobile packages.

MyTime -- Using HappyTalk minutes, customers could dial any StarHub phone number and chat with their friends for free between 12 midnight and 7am daily.

Reference: 2010/05/start_happy_ talkingonstarhubmobile withextratalktimeminutesatnoco.html
Tags: singapore teleco telecom mobile plan advert humor advertisement television show tough guys apartment commercial starhub StarHub Happy Talk Library DDB Singapore
Added: 2 years ago
From: StarHubHappyTalk
Views: 5,185

[scene opens with an older female librarian (thick glasses, hair in a bun, blue sweater) searching through the stacks, as a high-pitched voice speaking gibberish can be heard]
[cut to one of the shelves, where a young female patron is holding a book ... then the camera pans down to reveal that a green sock puppet is making the noise, laughing and speaking gibberish into a tiny cellphone in its "hand"]
LIBRARIAN: [yelling] Please! No talking on the phone!
[the puppet looks up at her and tilts its head to the side, then laughs uproariously and continues babbling into its phone]
[cut back to the librarian, with a shocked look on her face, then the patron walks up behind her and smiles]
PATRON: He's not talking ... He's happy talking!
[he opens and closes her hand in a "talking" motion, as the librarian gives her a confused look]
NARRATOR: Singapore, it's time to happy talk!
[cut to the "Happy Talk StarHub Mobile" logo]
NARRATOR: Three ways to talk for free!
[the puppet pops up, as "Free calls in selected camps, malls and schools with MyZone" appears on screen]
NARRATOR: Choose one! Free calls in camps, malls, and schools!
["Free calls and SMS to 3 friends with MyCircle" appears on screen]
NARRATOR: Or to three friends!
["Free calls from midnight to 7am with MyTime" appears on screen]
NARRATOR: Or from midnight to 7 AM!
["Call 1633 now www dot starhub dot com slash happytalk" appears on screen]
NARRATOR: Call "1633" now!
["You Can Starhub" appears on screen]



StarHub Limited is a full-fledged telecommunications company providing a full range of services over mobile, internet and fixed platforms in Singapore. It is the second largest mobile operator.



HappyTalk gives all StarHub Mobile customers 3 ways to talk for free. Choose one – MyZone, MyTime or MyCircle, to enjoy an additional 300 minutes talk time on top of your existing mobile plan. Pick the option that suits you best.

MyCircle - For the social creatures out there

You love chatting non-stop with your friends and you are always in the loop with what's happening around you and your friends. Then MyCircle is for you. It lets you nominate 3 friends and enjoy FREE 300 minutes of additional talktime and 300 SMS/MMS to them.

MyTime – For the night owls

You are a creature of the night and you are most active while the rest of the world sleeps. MyTime is perfect for your lifestyle because you can make free calls from midnight to 7 am; to anyone you wish!

MyZone – For those on the go

You are a person on the move and needs to stay connected wherever you are. And we are giving you free calls at the places where you spend most of your time. So, enjoy free calls while you are in campus, army camps, and shopping malls!

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Case Study No. 0813: Juanita Wills

Read About It Author Interview: Marion Hill
February 7 Marion Hill, local author, will discuss Death Books A Return. This is Hills second in the Scrappy Librarian series and explores a 50 year old murder. Guests and program schedules are subject to change without notice.
Tags: Marion Hill
Added: 3 years ago
From: metrolibrary
Views: 50

[scene opens with host BJ Williams sitting across from author Marion Hill and speaking directly to the camera]
BJ WILLIAMS: With me now if Marion Hill. She's a native of Oklahoma, and she has had a varied career as, I think that's almost a requirement to become a writer.
MARION HILL: I think so. You get more material, the more things you do in your life.
BJ WILLIAMS: [laughs] Right! You've written a number of books, that have won a variety of awards, but you're here today to talk about your latest, which is "Death Books a Return" ...
BJ WILLIAMS: This is about a murder that happened almost fifty years ago.
BJ WILLIAMS: But what prompted you to take this kind of subject?
MARION HILL: Well, there was an item in the news several years ago about the death of a black man in Texas. He was dragged behind a car ...
MARION HILL: And his head came off. Very gruesome murder, and that was so shocking, I think, because race relations have improved so much, you know, in this century and the last century. But still shocking things like that can happen sometimes. And so, I wrote a story in which there is quite a brutal murder that happened years ago.
MARION HILL: But my character, who is a librarian, determines that she can solve it. She is doing research into the history of her small town ...
MARION HILL: And she finds out about this old murder that no one has ever solved, and she's just incensed that it hasn't been solved, or at least hasn't been really investigated.
BJ WILLIAMS: Mm-hmm. Now, this is a murder that took place in 1959 ...
BJ WILLIAMS: Which, for those of us old enough, was really a very contentious period ...
BJ WILLIAMS: Because the government was insisting that everybody should have equal rights, and be able to go to whatever school is closest to them ...
BJ WILLIAMS: And that sort of thing. So there was an awful lot of antagonism, angry people on both sides of the situation.
BJ WILLIAMS: So I imagine she had a whole town full of suspects for this.
MARION HILL: Well, she did. And some very prominent people. But Juanita is one of these very forceful people who doesn't let obstacles stop her from something that she has determined she's going to do.
BJ WILLIAMS: [laughs]
MARION HILL: She's called the Scrappy Librarian, which suggests that she's not your stereotypical librarian.
BJ WILLIAMS: Mm-hmm. Although I have met some librarians that are extremely persistent!
MARION HILL: Yes! [laughs]
BJ WILLIAMS: When, especially when it does come to information.
BJ WILLIAMS: And that's really what she's seeking is information.
MARION HILL: Right, exactly. Yeah, I think librarians are natural sleuths because, you know, they do get so involved with research, and basically that's what a murder investigation is, is research.
MARION HILL: It's digging up details, which librarians are very good at!
BJ WILLIAMS: [laughs] Right! Now, does she get a lot of cooperation from the local police department?
MARION HILL: Well, not exactly ...
[they both laugh]
MARION HILL: Her fellow is a lieutenant in the police force, and he mostly tries to keep her from getting involved in his cases.
MARION HILL: For one thing, he's worried that she'll risk her own life.
MARION HILL: And for another, he's afraid that she might ... mess up some of the investigation that he's doing.
BJ WILLIAMS: [laughs] Right.
MARION HILL: So he tries to kind of keep her at arm's length from his cases, but of course, that's not successful.
BJ WILLIAMS: Right. Well, and in particular, in this one that's calling into question ... not him, but his police department.
MARION HILL: Exactly. Mm-hmm.
BJ WILLIAMS: Because obviously, they didn't do a great deal to discover--
MARION HILL: Right. Mm-hmm. Yeah, he wasn't in the town at the time, of course.
BJ WILLIAMS: Right. Mm-hmm.
MARION HILL: But he's protective of his police department ...
MARION HILL: And doesn't want it seen in a bad light.
BJ WILLIAMS: Mm-hmm. Now, what kind of research did you have to do for this book?
MARION HILL: Well, I did a lot of research about the period.
MARION HILL: I was alive in '59, of course ...
BJ WILLIAMS: [laughs]
MARION HILL: But there are a lot of details that I don't remember.
MARION HILL: And particularly, I didn't know about the racial situation in Oklahoma at that time.
MARION HILL: Though I was born in Oklahoma, I did most of my growing up in Illinois and Kansas.
MARION HILL: But I read about the fact that there were a lot of all-Black towns across the nation, and in fact Oklahoma had more of those than any other state. And of course, there were some all-White towns, and those were called "sundown towns" because they often would have a sign at the city limits saying that Black people were not supposed to be in that town after sundown.
MARION HILL: And one of the mysteries of this story is why this young black man happened to be in Windham, which is her town, which was all-White then, after sundown.
BJ WILLIAMS: Mm-hmm. So, did you have to do much research about librarians, or since this is a series, did you just rely on things that you knew beforehand?
MARION HILL: I kind of just do my own noticing of what goes on in libraries ...
BJ WILLIAMS: [laughs]
MARION HILL: I thought about being a librarian at one time.
MARION HILL: And my career took a different path. But I hang out in libraries a lot, and I know a lot of librarians. And so, I kind of got that situation ...
BJ WILLIAMS: Mm-hmm. Well, an awful lot of writers that, particularly those that come on this show, say they spend a fair amount of time in libraries doing research ...
BJ WILLIAMS: So I imagine that's what you're doing.
MARION HILL: Yeah. I do some research online now, because there are a number of websites that are quite useful, but there is no substitute for being in a library.
BJ WILLIAMS: Mm-hmm. Well, I will pass the word to the librarians in our system that if you find a nice lady sitting quietly watching everything you do, she's doing research for her next book!
[they both laugh]
MARION HILL: Exactly! Yeah, you know what they say, the little old ladies are the ones you need to watch out for!
BJ WILLIAMS: [laughs] Right, right! Because they have very surprising depths to them!
BJ WILLIAMS: Well, obviously, Juanita Wills has some depths to her too, because she does get a little bit outside what most librarians are looking for.
MARION HILL: Well, she's a very strong woman, very nosy woman. And there is some humor in this book, in spite of the very serious mystery involving this old murder. She has a couple of assistant librarians who inject some humor into the books. They carry on, they can't stand each other. And they don't come to actual blows ...
BJ WILLIAMS: [laughs]
MARION HILL: But they carry on what Juanita calls the "quote war."
MARION HILL: One of them will post a quote about some certain subject, like age versus youth, and will post a quote on the library wall. And then the other one will post an opposing quote.
MARION HILL: So that's how they do that.



"Death Books a Return: A Scrappy Librarian Mystery" (2008) by Marion Moore Hill

Sensitivity, compassion, mystery, and suspense abound in this tale of unserved justice in Oklahoma. Public librarian Juanita Wills makes a distressing discovery while researching local history: a teenage boy from the all-black town of Bryson's Corner, Luther Dunlap, was found brutally murdered on the all-white Wyndham high school track back in 1959. She suspects racist motives, both in Luther's killing and the failure of the police to pursue an investigation. As the scrappy Juanita prods for facts the townspeople would rather forget, her first informant is poisoned, and she may be next. The shame she feels for her town cements her resolve to uncover the truth and to right the terrible wrong.

Case Study No. 0812: Miss Dickens

Carl Squared - S02E09 - Carl's Techno-Jinx
Sorry, the beginnings words are a little off. ENJOY!!! FUNNY LIBRARIAN TACKLE IN THIS EPISODE!
Tags: Carl Squared S03E09 Carl's Techno Jinx
Added: 1 month ago
From: Winchunks Kuzco
Views: 38

[high school students Carl Crashman and Jamie James are walking towards the public library]
CARL: Aw man, ya hafta stop at the library? Who uses the library these days?
JAMIE: A guy who needs an atlas to finish his geography assignment?
CARL: Oh yeah, the geography assignment ... I should get started on that.
JAMIE: Get started?! Dawg, it's due tomorrow!
CARL: Now sweat! I can whip up an eight-page report on Brazil, complete with pie charts and illustrations, without turning a single page of one single book!
JAMIE: Oh yeah, right. Wish I had a clone to help me do my homework ...
CARL: Nah, C2's too slow compared to my other helper ... Mister Internet!
[cut to inside the library, where an elderly female librarian (shaggy white hair, cats eye glasses, purple blouse and skirt) is stamping a book, when she suddenly looks up at the sound of a door opening and begins snarling like a wild animal]
[cut to Carl and Jamie walking in the library]
CARL: I can't believe libraries still exist. Everything in here, and more, would hit in my hard dri--
[Carl suddenly falls to the floor, then the camera zooms out to reveal that he's been tackled by the librarian]
MISS DICKENS: Haha! You're busted, punk!
[she takes out a pair of handcuffs, then cut to Jamie filming the scene with his handheld camcorder]
CARL: [from off camera] Hey! Ow! Hey, what do you think you're doing?
[cut to the camcorder's POV, as Carl grimaces while having his hands cuffed behind his back]
JAMIE: [from off camera] I've never seen anyone get tackled by a librarian before! Usually all they do is shush you ...
CARL: Keep it rolling, Jamie ... When the authorities see this attack on an innocent teenagers, heads will roll!
MISS DICKENS: [from off camera] Innocent? Ha! Hardly!
[she lifts him out of camera view, then cut to the librarian holding Carl by the arm]
MISS DICKENS: You're the library's most wanted!
[she turns him towards her desk, as he stares at something off camera]
CARL: Gasp!
[cut to a closeup of a poster over the desk, featuring Carl (or is it C2?) with the red circle-backslash symbol over it]
CARL: [through gritted teeth] C2 ...
[cut to Carl being "interrogated" (sitting in a chair while still in handcuffs) in a backroom of the library]
CARL: I'm telling you, that photo is a fake! I haven't even been in the library since third grade!
MISS DICKENS: Save your fairy tales for the young readers' section, perp! The security cameras caught you red-handed!
[she laughs and pulls a television monitor towards him, which shows black and white security footage of C2 carrying a large pile of books out of the library]
MISS DICKENS: Mm-hmm ... Oh, never been in the library? Ahh, ooh, oh! Aha! Taking books without signing them out!
[cut to a closeup of the librarian's face, as she gasps at the very idea]
CARL: Oh no ... Uh, heh, yeah. Uh, see, the thing is ... Oops! I forgot.
MISS DICKENS: Oh, so you forgot ...
[the camera zooms out to show Jamie watching the interrogation from behind a glass window, as the librarian replaces her calm demeanor with a screaming fit]
MISS DICKENS: One hundred and seventy three times?!
JAMIE: Oh yeah, smooth answer, bro.
CARL: Uh, sometimes I forget to take my medication. Uh, I'm on ... Recallium. Yeah, it's for a rare memory disorder.
[the librarian turns her back (staring at a photograph of Queen Elizabeth on the wall) as she speaks calmly again]
MISS DICKENS: I'll ... give you until closing time to return every single book. And, if you fail, I will bring down the full ...
[she snorts and begins walking towards Carl, then starts yelling again]
MISS DICKENS: And mighty wrath of the library upon your teenie eenie weenie head!
[Carl falls backwards, as the librarian laughs maniacally]


[Carl gives his clone his library card and tells him to return all the books to Miss Dickens, which he happily does]
C2: Ahem, so with your permission, Miss Dickens, I'd like to sign these out again ... with my library card!
[he giggles happily, but the librarian grabs the card out of his hand]
C2: Huh?
[she turns and drops the card into a blender behind her desk]
C2: Oh ...
[she turns the blender on and grinds the card into a fine paste, then pours it into a cup and drinks it (belching loudly)]
C2: Is that a "no?"
[cut to C2 in Carl's bedroom, crying loudly]
C2: And then, she told me there was still one book missing! And if I don't bring it back, she's gonna bring down the full and mighty wrath of the library on my head!
[he blows his nose loudly]
JAMIE: Aw, don't let her get your boxers in a knot! It'll turn up.
C2: Do you think? I don't even remember taking out a book called "Puberty and Your Changing Body" ...
CARL: Huh?
JAMIE: What?
[C2 leaves the room]
CARL: Eh, sounds bogus to me ... Miss Dickens just wants to keep me outta the library for good! And who needs that moldy old place anyway?
[he turns to his desktop PC]
CARL: This is the computer age ... not the Jurassic!


[Carl discovers that he himself had checked out the missing library book five years earlier (which he throws in the garbage rather than incur the late fees), while C2 is convinced that Miss Dickens has placed a curse on them (shorting out all electronic devices they come in contact with) until the book is returned]
CARL: I refuse to get psyched out by some psycho librarian!
[he tries to enter the local arcade, but all of the power goes out as soon as he opens the door ... then comes back on as soon as he closes the door]
CARL: Huh ...
[he walks off, then C2 notices the librarian staring at him from across the street]
C2: Gasp!
[a bus passes between them, and (once it's gone) she's mysteriously disappeared]
C2: Carl! I saw ... she was ... and then she ... wait for me!


[after C2 "sacrifices" Carl's computer to appease the "dark spirits" of the curse, Carl becomes convinced that the overdue library book really is bringing him bad luck]
CARL: C2's right, I really am cursed ... Sigh, it's time to do what I should've done in the first place.
JAMIE: Now you're talking sense!
[he holds up a pencil]
JAMIE: Remember how one of these works?
CARL: Hey, I'm cursed, not crazy! I'm talking about the overdue book! I'm taking it back to the library!
[he checks his wastebasket, but it's empty]
CARL: What?! No! Who emptied my trashcan?
[C2 enters, whistling happily to himself]
C2: Hi, Jamie! Hiya, Carl!
CARL: Y-You've been cleaning my room again, haven't you?
C2: We-We-Well, I-I-I started to, and--
CARL: Did you empty that trashcan?!
C2: We-We-Well, I-I-I started to, and--
CARL: That lost book was in there! Do you realize what that means? I'm gonna be camping out for the rest of--
C2: I took it back to the library!
CARL: You ... what?
C2: I gave the book to Miss Dickens ... your problems are over, Carl!
CARL: But, what about the overdue fine? I must owe hundreds of dollars ...
C2: When I signed up to be a library volunteer, the debt was forgiven!
JAMIE: Haha, smooth move, clone boy!
[he gives him a high-five]
JAMIE: Looks like C2's got your back, C-Man!
C2: I have another surprise ...
[he walks off, giggling]
CARL: Seriously, if he got me a new computer, I'm gonna lose control!
JAMIE: Should I put down some newspapers?
[C2 re-enters the scene, pushing a hand truck filled to the brim with books]
C2: Look at all the geography books I borrowed with my new library card! Now you can do your assignment the old-tech way!
[Carl's face drops, as Jamie waves the pencil in front of him again (while doing a Darth Vader impersonation)]
JAMIE: Carl, it is your destiny!
CARL: No, it's not ... C2, there's a lotta reading to do here, and I'm more of a skimming cut-and-paste kind of a guy.
C2: Hmm, too bad I'm scheduled back at the library for my volunteer shift. I'd love to work on your project ...
[Carl gets a big smile on his face]
CARL: Heh-heh-hey, I could never deprive you of something you enjoyed! Let me do your volunteer shift ... After all you've done for me, I think I owe you one, pal.
C2: Thank you, Carl! I'll get right on it!
[he wheels the hand truck off camera, laughing happily]
JAMIE: You sure you wanna face Miss Dickens again?
CARL: No probs! Thanks to C2, I'm redeemed! And how hard can it be to shelve a few books?
JAMIE: Oh boy ...
[cut to Carl talking to Miss Dickens in the library]
CARL: Yes sir, Miss Dickens, when Carl Crashman makes a commitment to do something, he follows through!
[Miss Dickens gives an evil laugh, then reaches under her desk and pulls out a pink tutu (with matching magic wand)]
CARL: Huh?
MISS DICKENS: Here you go!
CARL: Uh, what's this for?
[she smiles and speaks to him in a sweet innocent tone]
MISS DICKENS: Oh, you're the one who signed up to be the Book Fairy for Storytime Corner! Remember?
[she laughs maniacally]
CARL: Aw, the Book Fairy?



Carl Squared is about a 14 year old teenager who was complaining on the internet about his life and got spammed by a cloning company. Carl, as a joke sent some DNA, and let Rex, Carl's dog, lick the stamp. By mistake Rex's spit was mixed in with the DNA and 6-8 weeks later Carl at his door got C2 with 5 percent dog dna.

In each episode of Carl Squared something goes wrong because of C2 or a problem occurred and Carl needs C2 to fix it.



Season 2, Episode 8
"Carl's Techno-Jinx"
February 18, 2007

Carl is banned from the library (by a haunting librarian) for a massively overdue book about puberty. Fortunately for Carl, he has his trusty Internet to finish up a geography assignment due the next day -- not. Carl's computer was busted and when he tried to borrow Chloe and Dr. Mom's computer, both didn't work. The fearful C2 believes that all these grievances is due to the "Crashman Curse" and the librarian. With advice from Chloe, he decides to make a sacrifice in order to be relieved of the curse, Carl's computer.



Carl Squared Season 2 Episode 8
Carl's Techno-Jinx

A dispute over a long overdue library book leads internet devotee Carl Crashman to stubbornly forsake the library forever, saying all he needs is his trusty computer. When anything electronic begins to crash and malfunction whenever Carl is near, library-loving C2 believes they have been cursed by the stern and scary librarian Miss Dickens!

Case Study No. 0811: "Librarian Retaliation!"

Librarian Retaliation!
The true price of a late fee!

TWITTER: http://www.twit
HOMEPAGE: http:www.tyler
Tags: librarian fairbanks alaska gun fight tyler williams tylertv tylertvvideos tylertvnet comedy sketch short funny hilarious ha
Added: 2 years ago
From: Tyler Williams
Views: 1,119

[scene opens with a young man leafing through a pile of books on the table in his house while talking into his cell phone]
JENKINS: So, when are you finishing that "Alaskan Hunter" series?
TYLER: [over the phone] Eh, eventually.
[cut to his friend sitting on his couch playing video games while talking into his cell phone]
TYLER: I've been so busy, and then "Fallout New Vegas" came out so I've got about ...
[cut back to the man in his house holding a book]
TYLER: [over the phone] Uh, no time.
JENKINS: Oh my god ...
TYLER: [over the phone] Awww ...
[cut back to his friend's house, as he smiles broadly]
TYLER: Did you just find the dead squirrel I stuffed in your couch?
[cut back to the man's house, as he gets a confused/disgusted look on his face]
JENKINS: What? No! I found a library book I forgot about ... Six months overdue.
TYLER: [over the phone] Whoa!
[cut back to his friend's house, as he sits up from the couch with a shocked look on his face]
TYLER: Six months?! Listen to me, get outta the house!
[cut back to the man's house, as he calmly leafs through the overdue book]
TYLER: [over the phone] Get that book back to the library right now! Get--
[the phone suddenly goes dead, but the man simply shrugs and throws it on the couch ... then the doorbell rings, and he opens it to find an attractive young woman (short red hair, glasses on a chain, black pantsuit) standing in the doorway with a smile on her face]
JENKINS: Can I help you?
LIBRARIAN: Mister Jenkins?
JENKINS: Yeah, that's me.
[the librarian suddenly drops the smile and takes a a gun from behind her back and points it in his face]
LIBRARIAN: I'm here to collect your late fee.
[he pauses for a second, then slams the door and tries to hide ... but the librarian kicks the door open and (now holding two guns) enters the room]
LIBRARIAN: That book belongs to P-N dot four-six-five-nine!
[as the librarian looks around, the man notices a shotgun propped up next to a chair in his kitchen, so he dives for it and engages in a firefight before both of them seek cover]
LIBRARIAN: Come on, Mister Jenkins! I'm a trained librarian! Think you can get outta this alive?
JENKINS: When did library fees get to be so high?!
LIBRARIAN: When you decided to be a delinquent renter!
[she smacks both gun barrels together (to reload their respective clips) and starts shooting again, so the man (after returning fire with a single shotgun blast) crouches down against the wall]
JENKINS: Listen, just take the book! I haven't even read it!
[the librarian pauses with a shocked look on her face]
LIBRARIAN: [whispers] Didn't even read it?!
[she emerges from her cover and (in slow motion) begins firing while advancing towards the man's position ... eventually standing above him and pointing one of her guns in his face (while placing the other gun to her lips and "shushing" him)]
LIBRARIAN: Shh shh shh ... Inside voices.
[the man squeezes his eyes shut (expecting the end), but the librarian pulls the trigger and finds that the gun is out of bullets ... the man opens his eyes and swings his shotgun towards her, but she kicks it out of his hands and across the room]
[cut to a closeup of the librarian, as she throws her guns down and puts up her fists ... the man (with a smirk on his face) gets up]
JENKINS: Whoa there, you wanna fight me?
[he smiles and puts his hands over her fists]
JENKINS: Come on, I can't do that. You're a girl ... unless, of course, you were just trying to--
[he suddenly rears back and punches her in the face]
JENKINS: Kill me!
[she falls to the floor]
JENKINS: The Dewey Decimal System is needlessly complicated!
[he grabs the library book and runs out of the house, as the librarian soon follows]
LIBRARIAN: Melvil Dewey was a saint!
[cut to the man jumping into his car and driving away ... but eventually a bullet hole suddenly appears in his windshield]
[cut to the librarian driving after him, hanging out of her window and firing a gun as she laughs maniacally]
[cut back to the man in his car, as the frightened look on his face slowly turns into a smile]
JENKINS: [pause] That's hot!
[cut to the man pulling up in front of the library, as he runs (in slow motion) towards the book deposit slot]
[cut to the librarian pulling up and running out of her car, except she's too late ... the man shoves the overdue book into the return slot, then steps back with his hands in the air]
JENKINS: There, I returned it! What else ya gonna do? Ya gonna shoot me?
[the librarian walks up and points a finger into his chest]
LIBRARIAN: Mister Jenkins, your public library account has been suspended ...
[he shrugs his shoulders]
LIBRARIAN: Permanently.
[she walks away, as the man simply makes faces behind her back]



We all know about late fees, but what we didn't know was how high they really are.

Monday, February 25, 2013

Case Study No. 0810: Staff of Central Rappahannock Regional Library

Libraries Will Survive (long version)
Inspired by the 1978 disco hit "I Will Survive", the lyrics were rewritten to proclaim support for libraries, particularly under the stress of tight budgets. It begins with a send-up of a typically hectic day in the life of a professional librarian.


When the budget was first slashed,
I was petrified
How to do my job
With my new printer denied?
Then I ran off a few more
They didn't look too wrong
The streaks are long
But we'll just have to get along

So we step back
In the library's base
Approving fewer, but better programs
Without disgrace
Should we stop inviting authors?
Should we buy condensed books?
Pretty sure that the homeschoolers
Would just give us dirty looks

Come on now, walk, in our door
Just wander around now
You are welcome to explore
Did you think we'd stop reading to your kids?
We still want them
To learn about the pyramids

We'll advise!
For as long as we have patrons
Libraries will stay alive
We've got computers spread throughout
And so much to check out
We'll survive
We will survive
Hey hey

It took lots of hard work
To stand this budget squeeze
Trying hard to mend the pieces
of your DVDs
I drove oh so many miles
Just feeling sorry for myself
We used to worry
But we'll be better in a hurry

For us a crisis
Is nothing new
Just bring these items back by
The date that they are due
Check out new releases
Wonders to behold
But I'm saving this one for the patron
Who has placed the hold

Come on now, stroll, in our door
Check us out now
Take a book down to the shore
What do you think about this whole manga craze?
All I know is they
Make some really cute displays

Come to learn!
Something new!
For as long as you want
Just go online to renew
We've got meeting space for groups
From D.A.R. to Boy Scout Troops
We'll survive
We will survive
Hey hey

So come on now, walk in our door
Find inspiration and knowledge
How-to books to ancient lore
We still think libraries are the epitome of cool
To do a job search
Or get some help with school

And now we've built
Something new!
From now into the future
Libraries will stay true
We've got a mission to uphold
Just watch our tale unfold
We'll survive
We will survive
Hey hey
Tags: library libraries librarians reading books literacy budget survive survival crrlvideo
Added: 2 years ago
From: crrlvideo
Views: 42,996

[scene opens with a female librarian sitting at her desk in the backroom, reading a copy of the Daily Star (featuring headlines like "Libraries Struggling Under Budget Cuts: Will Programs, Booktalks, and Collections Be Reduced?"; "Public Need For Libraries Soars As Economy Falters"; "In Support of Libraries Local Citizens Speak Up Against Budget Cuts") as Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive" plays on a radio in the background]
[she gets up, turns off the radio, and opens the door (to the sounds of murmuring patrons) as she walks up to the checkout desk just as a female patron arrives carrying a large stack of books]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: Hi, can I help you?
CIRC PATRON: I'd like to check these out!
[the librarian reaches over to help keep the stack from tipping over, then scans each book in rapid succession]
[cut to a male patron (wearing a blue "Superman" baseball cap and a long red snuggie) walking up to the desk]
SNUGGIE PATRON: Can you help me with some research?
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: The adult reference librarian would be happy to help you right ov--
[she stops and looks around]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: Where is the reference librarian?
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [from off camera] She's retired.
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: So who's working Reference?
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: [from off camera] No one is ... Budget cuts, you know.
[she turns back to the patron]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: I'll be right back to help you.
[she gets up and leaves, then cut to sped-up footage of the librarian walking to the reference desk (as "Yakety Sax" plays in the background) ... when she sits down, she finds the same male patron (rubbing his hands up and down his snuggie and winking at her) waiting for her]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: [pause] Nice outfit, sir ... What did you need to know?
SNUGGIE PATRON: Which sleeved blanket was invented first ... the Snuggie or the Slanket?
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: I know just the reference material you need ... One moment.
[she gets up and leaves, but is interrupted when a young male patron (wearing a "red ensign" outfit) jumps in her path]
TREKKIE PATRON: Excuse me, madam! Can you please tell me where the DVDs are located?
[he points off camera]
TREKKIE PATRON: They used to be right here!
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: Uh, our collection has been downsized, so they now fit on a small shelf right over here.
[she points in the opposite direction, then runs off]
[cut to the librarian looking through a bookshelf, when someone from the other side of the shelf suddenly sticks his hand through and waves a yellow card in her face]
COMPUTER PATRON: [from off camera] I signed up for computer time, but the computer's not there! What am I supposed to do?!
[she takes the card and looks at it]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: Uh, yes ... That one broke down. Uh, we can't afford to replace it, but I can get it sorted out. Uh, meet me over at the counter.
[cut back to the checkout desk, as the librarian places an old-school tabletop electronic videogame on the desk]
COMPUTER PATRON: What is that?
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: This is a 1981 Tron tabletop videogame, designed after the landmark film where people get sucked into a vast computer network!
[a "Tron" movie poster appears on screen, then disappears]
COMPUTER PATRON: So I can go online with it?
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: Strangely enough ... no.
[cut to a closeup of the videogame's screen (as the patron plays a game of Tron), then cut to him standing in front of the computer terminal - which has an "Out Of Order" sign taped to it - as the librarian simply shrugs and smiles]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: Watch out for those light cycles!
[cut to more sped-up footage of the librarian walking away to "Yakety Sax", then cut to the librarian being stopped in the stacks by a woman holding two small children]
STORYTIME PATRON: Uh, I would like to sign up for storytime ...
[the woman holds up a flyer]
STORYTIME PATRON: But I can't find the Tuesday/Thursday listings ...
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: Oh, those were discontinued.
STORYTIME PATRON: Of the Friday morning walk-ins ...
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: Unfortunately, we can only have one storytime a week now ...
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: And we can't keep the lights on in the auditorium anymore.
STORYTIME PATRON: [pause] So that's why your one storytime is ... held in the parking lot?
STORYTIME PATRON: At six in the morning?!
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: [pause] Well, at least the streetlights are still on!
[she smiles and walks off]
[cut to the librarian returning to the reference desk, where the male patron in the snuggie is waiting for her]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: The Snuggie and the Slanket are actually made by the same company, with the Slanket being released in 2006.
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: Though they were both, uh, predated by the Freedom Blanket in 2005 ...
[he continues rubbing his snuggie]
SNUGGIE PATRON: I'm glad I've got mine ...
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: Sorry about the chill, the heating system's down.
[the young Star Trek fan approaches]
TREKKIE PATRON: I was unable to locate your "Star Trek Original Series" DVDs on the bookcase indicated.
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: Did you look in the fiction?
TREKKIE PATRON: [pause] Fiction?
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: Uh, "Star Trek" is science fiction.
TREKKIE PATRON: That does not compute.
[the lights suddenly go out]
TREKKIE PATRON: Computer! Lights!
SNUGGIE PATRON: Is it a power outage? Save me, Snuggie!
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: No no, they're just trying to cut costs ... Uh, budget cuts, you know.
[cut to the librarian using a flashlight to find the light switch and turn the power back on, when the phone starts ringing, so she runs over to the checkout desk and answers it]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: [into the phone] Regional Library, how can I help you?
[she pauses]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: [into the phone] Yes, of course, let me check on that for you.
[she starts typing on the computer]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: [into the phone] Yes, you do have the room reserved.
[she pauses]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: [into the phone] How early? Of course, I'll go set that up for you right now! Thank you!
[cut to more sped-up footage of the librarian walking away to "Yakety Sax", as she sets up several chairs in the meeting room (all by herself), then cut back to the checkout desk as the female patron puts a large stack of books down]
CIRC PATRON: Can somebody help me?
[the librarian slides into the scene and gives a big smile]
CIRC PATRON: Can I get a printout of these so I know when my books are due?
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: Sure, let me just--
[she reaches for the keyboard, when someone off camera reaches in first and takes it away]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: Hey! Where's my computer?
[the person reaches in from off camera and hands her an abacus]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: What's this? Where's my computer?
MALE LIBRARIAN: [from off camera] Had to downgrade ... Budget cuts, you know.
[the patron reaches in and hands her a book]
CIRC PATRON: Can you renew this item? It's my favorite!
[the librarian looks at the cover]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: Leonard Maltin's "Movie and Video Guide" from 1995?
CIRC PATRON: I love this book, I've been renewing it for years!
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: Ah ... He comes out with a new one every year.
CIRC PATRON: I know, but I love his review of "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes!"
[the librarian starts reading from the book]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: "A funny and irreverent illustration of what inspired professionals can accomplish without much of a budget" ...
[the librarian casts a knowing glance to the camera, then slams the book shut]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: Alright, let's renew this puppy!
[she smiles, but then reaches down and finds only the abacus]
CIRC PATRON: You really should have enough money for computers.
[she smiles, then reaches down and places a large glass jar marked "Tips are Appreciated" on the desk]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: I'll be right back ...
[cut to more sped-up footage of the librarian walking away to "Yakety Sax" (as she stops to reshelve some books in the childrens' section), then cut to the librarian being stopped in the stacks by the same woman (without her children)]
STORYTIME PATRON: Excuse me, do you have a booklist for kids who like mysteries?
[she reaches up and takes a flyer off of a nearby shelf]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: Uh, here you are!
[she hands the flyer to the woman, who shakes her head]
STORYTIME PATRON: I can't read this, it's all streaky!
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: Well, our printer is very old and we can't afford to replace it, but let me try to run you off a fresh copy ...
[cut to the librarian in the backroom trying to use the photocopy machine, which makes horrible grinding noises before spitting out another streaky copy]
[the sound of a door opening can be heard, as she whirls around to the sound of all the patrons screaming "There you are!"]
CIRC PATRON: [from off camera] How will I know when to bring my books back?
TREKKIE PATRON: [from off camera] You're missing Season Two Disc Five! "The Trouble with Tribbles" is my favorite episode!
STORYTIME PATRON: [from off camera] The real "mystery" is trying to make out these booklists!
COMPUTER PATRON: [from off camera] That Tron game is too hard ... and I'm missing the live chat on "SexySumoWrestlers Dot Com!"
[the librarian holds her hands up to silence everyone]
[she turns and addresses the first patron]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: Just bring your items back in two weeks.
[she turns to the next one]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: We can't afford multiple copies of any DVD, but if you place a hold, we'll call you on your ... "communicator" when it comes in for you.
[she turns to the next one]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: If you squint, maybe you can read it ... If not, just give them some "Hardy Boys."
[she turns to the next one]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: And you ... "SexySumoWrestlers Dot Com"? Eww!
[cut to the librarian waving out the doorway]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: Thank you so much! Glad I could help! You come back now ... goodbye!
[she smiles and closes the door behind her]
CIRC PATRON: [from off camera] She was nice!
[cut to the librarian breathing a sigh of relief, as she turns to someone off camera]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: Another day at the library, huh?
[the camera pans over to reveal a male librarian sitting at his computer, as he plays the keyboard as if it was a piano]
[cut to the librarian (now wearing a long black dress) leaning up against a printer and singing to the camera]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: When the budget was first slashed, I was petrified! How to do my job with my new printer denied? Then I ran off a few more, they didn't look too wrong ...
[she takes a piece of paper out of the machine, with a sad look on her face]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: The streaks are long, but we'll just have to get along!
[she throws the paper over her head, then cut to three female librarians dancing in the library]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: [in voice over] So we step back, in the library base, approving fewer - but better - programs without disgrace!
[cut to more librarians dancing]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: [in voice over] Should we stop inviting authors? Should we buy condensed books? Pretty sure that the homeschoolers would just give us dirty looks!
[cut to more librarians dancing]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: [in voice over] Come on now, walk ... in our door! Just wander around now, you are welcome to explore!
[cut to more librarians dancing]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: [in voice over] Did you think we'd stop reading to your kids? We still want them to learn about the pyramids!
[one of the librarians holds up a copy of "The Tomb of King Tutankhamen", then cut to three female librarians dancing while reshelving books]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: [in voice over] And we'll advise! Alphabetize!
[cut to more librarians dancing]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: [in voice over] For as long as we have patrons, libraries will stay alive! We've got computers spread throughout, and so much to check out! We'll survive, we will survive ... hey hey!
[cut to more librarians dancing]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: [in voice over] It took lots of hard work to stand this budget squeeze ...
[cut to three female librarians throwing DVDs at the camera]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: [in voice over] Trying hard to mend the pieces of your DVDs!
[cut to two shirtless male librarians loading boxes into a truck]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: [in voice over] I drove oh so many miles, just feeling sorry for myself ...
[cut to more librarians dancing]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: [in voice over] We used to worry, but we'll be better in a hurry!
[cut to more librarians dancing]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: [in voice over] For us, a crisis is nothing new ... Just bring these items back by the date that they are due!
[cut to more librarians dancing]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: [in voice over] Check out new releases, wonders to behold ...
[one of the librarians holds up a book, then another librarian rushes in from off camera and grabs it]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: [in voice over] But I'm saving this one for the patron who has placed the hold!
[cut to two female librarians showing books to a pair of teenage patrons]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: [in voice over] Come on now, stroll! In our door ... Check us out now, take a book down to the shore!
[cut to the two teenage patrons looking at a display of manga books]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: [in voice over] What do you think about this whole manga craze? All I know is that they make some really cute displays!
[cut to more librarians dancing]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: [in voice over] Come on to learn something new! For as long as you want, just go online to renew!
[cut to two female librarians waving American flags]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: [in voice over] We've got meeting space for groups, from D.A.R. to Boy Scout troops! Then we'll survive, we will survive ... oh!
[cut to more librarians dancing]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: [in voice over] Come on now, walk in our door! Find inspiration and knowledge, how-to books to ancient lore! We still think libraries are the epitome of cool, to do a job search or get some help with school!
[cut to more librarians dancing]
VOCALIST LIBRARIAN: [in voice over] And now we've built something new! From now into the future, libraries will stay true! We've got a mission to uphold, just watch our tale unfold! And we'll survive, we will survive ... hey hey!
[cut to more librarians dancing, as the scene fades to black]

The staff of
Central Rappahannock
Regional Library

Written, directed, & edited by
Sean Bonney
sbonney [at] crrl dot org

"I Will Survive"
Music (c)1978 D. Fekaris & F. Perren



Everyone knows times are tough. Budget cuts and belt-tightening are commonplace.

The library has felt the pinch too, but we know we'll carry on and continue to offer the best possible service to our patrons.

Humor often helps us through the hard times, so we'd like to share this video, inspired by the 1978 disco hit "I Will Survive," made by and featuring CRRL staff.