Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Case Study No. 1056: DutchyDC, the Lethal Librarian

DutchyDC, The Lethal Librarian - Viewer Submission
4:59
Dutchy DC - http://www.you tube.com/user/dutchydc
Twitter - http://twit ter.com/dutchyDC
Stream - http://www.jus tin.tv/dutchyDC

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Tags: HeartBreakerNation DutchyDC Call of Duty Black Ops
Added: 2 years ago
From: HeartbreakerNationTV
Views: 772

[scene opens with footage from the game "Call of Duty: Black Ops 2", as the player (labelled "dutchyDC") kneels next to a magazine rack (which includes a copy of "File" magazine with "The Year in Photos 1972" on the cover)]
DUTCHYDC: [in voice over] What's up, patrons? And what's up, Heartbreakers? My name is DutchyDC, and I'll come clean with ya ...
[cut to footage of the player pointing his knives at a bookshelf]
DUTCHYDC: [in voice over] I'm a librarian. Yeah, I said it. I'm a librarian, a very young one at that. I'm not one of those older librarians that keep their books as sacred items, and thinks that they're the greatest thing in the world.
[cut to another angle of the player next to the bookshelf]
DUTCHYDC: [in voice over] I mean, don't get me wrong ... books are beast. But I'm part of that new crew. Yeah, that new tech-saavy crew.
[cut to another angle of the player next to the bookshelf]
DUTCHYDC: [in voice over] Now, we're looking for different kinds of ideas. Sure, books are sweet, but we're trying to explore more of the electronic realm, if you will ...
[cut to another angle of the player next to the bookshelf]
DUTCHYDC: [in voice over] And this poses quite a problem. All the old librarians look at me like ...
[cut to another angle of the player next to the bookshelf]
DUTCHYDC: [in voice over] "Oh, look at him, he's not excited about books! He's not all that excited about books! What is wrong with this child?!"
[cut to more footage from the game, as "dutchyDC" is joined by several other players]
DUTCHYDC: [in voice over] And, I'll be honest, the libraries are moving to new places. New things ... And I was pretty young before, y'know? I just got outta college, so when I'm helping students out, they kinda look at me funny. Like a dog looks at something funny and tilts their head, "What the fuck is this thing? What is going on here?" But a lotta the students don't realize that I'm a gamer, I kind of keep it secret.
[cut to footage of the player walking by an outdoor swimming pool]
DUTCHYDC: [in voice over] And they also don't realize that I was young. I used to party at the pool, y'know? I was just going to college a little bit ago, I didn't graduate too long ago ...
[cut to "dutchyDC" being joined by several other players around the pool]
DUTCHYDC: [in voice over] So they forget that I used to party ... like, all the fucking time!
[he laughs]
DUTCHYDC: [in voice over] Y'know? All librarians probably used to party quite a bit ... but I really partied! Used to go out to the pool, just look over, drink a bunch'a beers, do some crazy shit!
[cut to footage of one of the players diving off a roof]
DUTCHYDC: [in voice over] Hey look, there's a roof ... Why don't I jump off it? I'm drunk! I'm gonna be a librarian, this is awesome!
[cut to footage of several of the players piling into an outdoor hot tub]
DUTCHYDC: [in voice over] Oh my gosh, I'm tanked! Let's get in the pool! Let's get naked! Come on, let's do it!
[cut to more footage of the game, as the player walks through a house]
DUTCHYDC: [in voice over] Well, this dichotomy really brings me into trouble ... being the gamer, librarian, old party animal, college dude. And just recently, I had a student come into my office.
[cut to footage of another player (labelled "P IE A C IH") running into a room of the house]
DUTCHYDC: [in voice over] My office is riddled with cigar smoke and brandy ... and I normally help out students with, like, reference questions or sometimes they're working on a research paper and I try to find them the right resources, and--
[cut to "dutchyDC" standing in the same room (behind a desk with a bottle of liquor and a smoking cigar sitting in the ashtray)]
DUTCHYDC: [in voice over] I kind of lean towards books, but yeah ... I do go towards those electronic journals and other kinds of things.
[cut to another angle of the two players standing on opposite sides of the desk]
DUTCHYDC: [in voice over] So, this student comes in, and he's like ... "Yeah, trying to do a research paper, uh, on Call of Duty. Yeah, I'm doin' it on Black Ops."
[cut to another angle of the two players standing on opposite sides of the desk]
DUTCHYDC: [in voice over] And I thought, "Holy shit! This is the catalyst! This is the point! You are my Neo, young one! You are going to help me!"
[cut to another angle of the two players standing on opposite sides of the desk]
DUTCHYDC: [in voice over] "I have this YouTube channel, and I could totally help you out! I can show you I'm a hip new librarian! You gotta check this out" ... So I'm kinda fishin' a little bit. Kinda like, "Alright, what does he want? Can I show him my secret identity, as the Dutch Librarian, on the YouTubez?" I'm like, "Well what kind of uh, what kinda information you lookin' for, little buddy?"
[cut to a closeup of the "patron"]
DUTCHYDC: [in voice over] He's like, "Oh, I'm lookin' for tips and tricks! I'm lookin' on, uh, yeah, how to do something ... Think you could help me out, library man?"
[cut to a closeup of "dutchyDC"]
DUTCHYDC: [in voice over] And I'm thinking, "Holy fuck! This is awesome! This is the point! This is the breaking point! This is when librarians become super awesome! I can show him my YouTube page, yes! Things are sweet! I'm an awesome librarian!"
[cut to another angle of the two players standing on opposite sides of the desk]
DUTCHYDC: [in voice over] So I'm like, "Okay buddy, what kinda tips and tricks are you looking for?" And he looks at me, straight dead in the eye, and says ... "I'm wanting to make a lag switch."
[cut to a closeup of "dutchyDC"]
DUTCHYDC: [in voice over] "You mother fucking cheater! You sunuva bitch! Don't you ever come in my library looking to cheat!"
[cut to another angle of the two players standing on opposite sides of the desk]
DUTCHYDC: [in voice over] I have never been slapped in the face so fucking hard ...
["dutchyDC" jumps up onto the desk]
DUTCHYDC: [in voice over] I just did something crazy! I just hopped up on the desk, called him a lag-switcher, slapped him in the face ...
[he runs off camera, then cut to outside the house as the sound of breaking glass can be heard]
DUTCHYDC: [in voice over] And I jumped out the fucking window!
[cut to footage of players jumping out of an open window]
DUTCHYDC: [in voice over] Next time you go to the library, and you look for a lag switch and how to make one, just remember ... that librarian might be a gamer, and you might get black-balled for life!
[cut to a closeup of "dutchyDC" as he jumps out the window and lands on the ground]
DUTCHYDC: [in voice over] Thanks a lot, guys. I'm DutchyDC, the Dutch Librarian ... and I love you Heartbreakers.

---

From iplaycod.com:

dutchyDC is a Private in the Black Ops 2

Biography: I am dutch.
Location: Eugene, OR.
Interests: Books and Blood.
Occupation: Librarian

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