Friday, November 30, 2012

Case Study No. 0675: Winston Public Librarian

all our yesterdays
Short Film for University, not as planned, edit was rushed. Better than nothing at all though
Tags: all our yesterdays
Added: 3 years ago
From: terrywagwan
Views: 126

Doreen Fraser
Tom Fraser
Natasha Baseley

[scene opens inside the Winton Public Library, as the camera follows an unseen female librarian pushing a cart and pulling various books from the shelves]
[the camera stops and focuses on a copy of "All Our Yesterdays" by H.M. Tomlinson on the shelf, with a "Reference Only" sticker on the spine]
[cut to several shots of an older female librarian entering the library and sitting at the front desk, taken from various different angles]
[cut back to the unseen librarian reshelving books, then back to the librarian as she puts on her glasses, then back to the bookshelf (as an unseen patron grabs "All Our Yesterdays" off the shelf) and the scene fades to black)]
[cut to a young male patron sitting at a table with the book, underlining various passages with a pencil (and looking up every now and then to make sure no one see him), then he gets up and places the book back on the shelf]
[cut to the older librarian sitting at the desk, typing on the computer, when she looks up (pulling down her glasses as the boy walks by) and the screen fades to black]
[cut to a young female patron browsing the shelves, when she pulls out "All Our Yesterdays" and quickly makes her way to a nearby table]
[cut to the female patron sitting down and opening the book, as she leafs through the pages and stops at a passage where the word "accompany" is circled]
[cut to the patron looking around, then she takes her pencil and circles the words "another touch"]
[cut to the librarian watching her (and smiling), then back to the girl as she places the book back on the shelf]
[cut to a shot of a cat sitting on the floor, then the scene fades to black]
[cut to several alternating shots of the two patrons marking up "All Our Yesterdays" and putting the book back on the shelf]
[the camera focuses on the male patron circling the words "A stranger," then cut to the librarian typing (and sneaking a peek at the patrons sneaking around)]
[cut to a closeup of the female patron circling the words "I want you"]
[cut to the librarian walking towards the bookshelf and taking the copy of "All Our Yesterdays," clutching it to her breast as she walks back to the front desk]
[cut to the librarian sitting down and opening the book, as she looks up the various marked passages and writes them down on a piece of paper]
[cut to a closeup of the paper, which reads "Journeys end in lovers meeting."]
[cut to the librarian stamping the book with "Bournemouth Libraries Withdrawn Stock For Sale," as the scene fades to black]

Librarian ... Doreen Fraser
Girl ... Natasha Baseley
Boy ... Tom Fraser

Director ... Josie Gallo
Co-Director ... Mark Maltby
Production Manager ... Hannah Morby
Production Assistant ... Harrison Wall
Camera ... Josie Gallo, Mark Maltby
Sound ... Harrison Wall

Group D2 Productions
"All Our Yesterdays"

Case Study No. 0674: Ellen Talbot and Ezra Knutson

Wishbone: Pantin at the Opera 1/2
Story: Phantom of the Opera
Contemporary Story: Books start disappearing at the local library after the kids meet the supposedly dead former librarian.

Tags: wishbone
Added: 1 year ago
From: 90sProject
Views: 9,730

[Joe and his friends (along with Wishbone) enter the Henderson Memorial Public Library, as Wishbone is pulling on his leash in anticipation]
WISHBONE: Hey, come on! Come on!
JOE: Hey, take it easy, Wishbone ...
[he lets go of the leash, as Wishbone rests his paws on a nearby bookcart]
WISHBONE: Take it easy? We're in the library! Just look at all these books! All these stories!
[they walk up to the reference desk, where Joe's mother is talking to some other female librarians]
JOE: Hi mom.
ELLEN: Oh, hi Joe. Hi guys. What brings you here?
WISHBONE: A leash, Ellen. How'd you get here?
JOE: We're doing a report on the history of rock and roll, for music class. What's going on?
ELLEN: Well ... look!
[she shows them a magazine article from "Libraries of the Future, Special Report" which features her picture (with the tagline "Ellen Talbot, creator of a computerized reference book index") and the headline "A Reference Librarian who recognized the need for computer speed"]
SAM: Hey, that's you!
DAVID: Cool!
ELLEN: It's in the latest library monthly, we didn't even know it was in here.
JOE: What's it about?
ELLEN: Oh, it's about the reference catalog I've been computerizing, and a lotta libraries wanna use it, so I'm--
DAVID: A star!
ELLEN: Well ...
[she laughs]
JOE: That's great, mom!
ELLEN: Thanks ...
[she looks down and notices Wishbone]
ELLEN: Uh, Joe, you know dogs aren't allowed in the library.
[cut to a closeup of Wishbone, as he lies down]
WISHBONE: Mm-hmm, and they wonder why so few of us read.
JOE: It's supposed to rain, mom. I had to bring him in.
ELLEN: Oh, alright. Just keep him in control ... Why don't you go over to the music section? I'll be there to help you in just a minute.
JOE: Thanks, mom.
ELLEN: Okay.
SAM: Thanks, Misses Talbot.
[they turn to leave, but David stops]
DAVID: Um, can I have your autograph?
[she laughs, as Joe grabs him by the backpack]
JOE: Come on, David!
[cut to the children alone in the stacks (where the ominous shadow of a figure can be seen slowly approaching them), as Wishbone is sitting and staring at one of the shelves]
WISHBONE: Wow, lookit this! They have books on everything here!
[the dog stares at the spine title of one book]
WISHBONE: Hm, "A Guide to Flowers" ... wow!
[it looks at another book]
WISHBONE: "The Language of Birds" ... cool!
[it looks at another book]
WISHBONE: "How to Photograph a Mold" ... ewww.
[cut to Sam, as she joins her friends]
SAM: Nothing over there ... Any luck over here?
JOE: We'll have to wait until my mom helps us find it.
[cut to another shot of the shadow as it gets closer]
DAVID: [from off camera] Yeah, if she has any time for us now that she's a big star ...
[cut to another shot of the kids, with their backs to the camera]
MR. KNUTSON: [from off camera] May I help you kids find something?
[they all turn, startled, as the camera reveals that the shadow was actually that of an elderly man wearing glasses]
MR. KNUTSON: You look like you're searching for something.
[Joe gives him an apprehensive look]
JOE: Well, we're doing a report on the history of rock and roll ...
MR. KNUTSON: Well, you've come to the right place.
[he walks up to one of the shelves]
MR. KNUTSON: Here you are. Twenty two books. Make sure you read a book or two about blues and country music. Every history has its history too.
DAVID: Uh, thanks Mister ...
MR. KNUTSON: Knutson. I'm Mister Knutson, the reference librarian.
[he turns and walks away]
DAVID: Well, he seemed pretty nice ...
WISHBONE: Oh yeah, in a nice ... creepy kinda way.
JOE: But that's weird. He can't be the reference librarian.
SAM: Why not? He seemed to know exactly where the books were.
JOE: Yeah, but there's only one reference librarian here. That's my mom.
DAVID: Hmm. Well, where'd he go?
SAM: I dunno, let's go find him.
[they search through the stacks, but come up empty]
SAM: How could that be? He just--
DAVID: Disappeared.
WISHBONE: Wow, the library's haunted! By a nice old man who reads a lot!


[the kids are at Joe's house, telling Ellen about their experience with the mysterious reference librarian]
ELLEN: Are you sure he said his name was Mister Knutson?
JOE: Yes mom, that's what he said.
ELLEN: Well, that's just not possible.
SAM: Why not?
ELLEN: Well, Mister Ezra Knutson was the reference librarian at the Oakdale Library over ten years ago. He's the man who invented the cataloging system I was telling you about.
DAVID: The one you're putting on the computer.
ELLEN: That's the one. That's his system, updated.
JOE: Maybe he stopped by to congratulate you.
DAVID: Yeah, now that you're famous and all.
ELLEN: No, he retired years ago and then he moved to Florida.
JOE: So he's back for a visit. Why do you keep saying that it couldn't be him?
WISHBONE: Yeah, give us one good reason.
ELLEN: Joe, Ezra Knutson is dead.
WISHBONE: [pause] That's a good reason.
ELLEN: His wife sent a letter to the library a couple of weeks ago. I even sent her a card myself.
SAM: So, who was the man in the library?
ELLEN: Well, someone must've been playing a trick on you ... and one of Mister Knutson's index volumes was missing today, too. Must be some kind of a practical joke.
JOE: Mom, he seemed pretty serious.
[she pulls an old newspaper clipping out of a folder and hands it to them]
ELLEN: Ah, here it is! Okay kids, have a look at the real Mister Knutson ...
[cut to a closeup of the article ("Reference Librarian to Retire") which has a picture of the same man, then cut to Joe with a stunned look on his face]
JOE: Mom, that's him.
ELLEN: [pause] Are you sure?
[he nods]
ELLEN: Well, that can't be!
[she takes back the article, then the phone rings and she answers it]
ELLEN: [into the phone] Hello?
[as she takes the call, the kids talk amongst themselves]
SAM: Maybe it was his ... ghost?
DAVID: Come on, there's gotta be some logical explanation for all of this.
WISHBONE: Hmm, he's not alive, but today he was very helpful ... Oh yeah, that's reasonable.
ELLEN: [into the phone] Okay, I'll be right there.
[she hangs up the phone, then turns to the kids]
ELLEN: That was the library. They said something strange happened, and they want me to come over immediately.
JOE: Let's go.
[they all get up and leave the room]
WISHBONE: Uh, hey Wishbone, wanna come along? Okay, sure!
[the dog jumps off the couch and follows them]
WISHBONE: There's a mystery to investigate, and I'm the dog to do it! Ha ha!


[they enter the library and head for the reference desk, as Ellen turns to Sam]
ELLEN: Maryann said I'd see it right away, whatever it is ...
[Ellen stops and looks at something off camera]
ELLEN: Oh no!
[cut to a closeup of the desk, as four large binders (with a space apparently empty) are sitting on a shelf behind the desk]
SAM: Well, what's wrong?
ELLEN: Remember I told you that Volume One of the index was missing this morning? Well, now Volume Two is gone!
DAVID: That's Mister Knutson's index, right?
ELLEN: That's right, and I haven't even put Volumes Four, Five, and Six on the computer yet ... I'm glad Maryann called.
[as she's talking, Joe is staring at something intently off camera]
JOE: Mom, I don't think that's why she called you.
ELLEN: Waddaya mean?
JOE: Look ...
[he reaches down and picks up the library monthly sitting on the desk, which now has her picture crossed out in red magic marker and large read letters covering the article]
ELLEN: [reading] "Give back what you have stolen! Abandon the project now!"
SAM: Who could've done this?
WISHBONE: Well, you know it wasn't a dog! We're not allowed in here ...
DAVID: Well, whoever it is, they'll be coming back.
ELLEN: How do you know?
DAVID: I mean, why didn't they steal all those books? That would stop your project.
SAM: Well, they probably couldn't carry 'em all at once.
JOE: So they'll be back ...
ELLEN: Well, whoever it is, they must have a key to the library, or else Maryann would've seen them leaving the front door with the book.
DAVID: Unless they don't use doors ... Oooooooh!
SAM: David, stop!
ELLEN: Well, y'know, I'm not gonna let myself be intimidated by this person.
JOE: What're you gonna do?
ELLEN: Well, I guess I'll have Maryann watch my desk for the rest of the day, and then when the library closes I'll guard the books. All night.
JOE: I'll stay here with you!
DAVID: Me too!
SAM: And me!
WISHBONE: Count me in, I love slumber parties! Who's bringing the snacks?
ELLEN: Well, that's really nice of you kids, but--
JOE: Mom, we're not going to leave you here all alone!
ELLEN: Well, I guess I can use all the help I can get ...
[cut to the library after hours, as Officer Krulla and Ellen's neighbor Wanda (dressed in black riot gear and surrounded by various security devices) have joined the group in their stakeout]
WANDA: Night vision binoculars, check! Fingerprinting kit, check! Flashlight, check!
WISHBONE: Wow, lookit all this stuff ... Wanda, did you bring a can opener?
ELLEN: I really appreciate you coming down to look after us, Officer Krulla.
KRULLA: Uh yeah, anytime ma'am. It's part'a the job ...
[he points to one of Wanda's security devices]
KRULLA: Now, what's this funny thing here for?
WANDA: Oh, that's a portable motion detector!
WANDA: We set up a couple'a these babies all around the perimeter, we'll know the minute that someone shows up! Oh, plus it's set to blink ... no siren. See, that way, he won't know that we know!
KRULLA: That's great! I gotta get me some'a these ...
WANDA: Oh, hey! Well, here's the magazine I ordered 'em from ...
[she holds up the magazine]
WANDA: "Home Detective Monthly" ... Take it!
KRULLA: Oh, ya mean it? Thanks!
WANDA: Yeah, sure sure! I got a whole stack of 'em ...
[as he looks through the magazine, the kids walk up to Ellen at the reference desk]
ELLEN: How you guys holdin' up?
JOE: Okay, mom. We just locked the doors.
ELLEN: Thanks.
DAVID: But if it's really a ghost, it won't matter whether the door's locked or not!
SAM: David!
ELLEN: Okay, in just a second, most of the lights will turn off automatically, so be prepared.
[the lights go out]
KRULLA: He's here!
WANDA: He found the fusebox! How diabolically clever!
ELLEN: Uh, that's the automatic lighting system, it happens every night.
[Wanda and Officer Krulla try to laugh it off]
KRULLA: Uh, yeah, of course. Of course ... Now, look, everybody. Just stay put, stay down, alright? We're just gonna have to wait this out.
WISHBONE: Why are you whispering? I mean, come on, this is fun! Lots of company, lots of books, ha ha!
[the dog lies down on the floor]
WISHBONE: Only if it weren't for that awkward feeling that we're being ... watched.


[everyone is sitting in the dark, as Joe checks his watch]
JOE: What time is it?
ELLEN: Uh, it's almost midnight ... Y'know, I'm beginning to think our guest isn't coming. And I'd like to get the kids home, so--
[a noise off camera suddenly puts everyone on edge]
ELLEN: What was that?
KRULLA: That is what we call ... a noise.
SAM: It's coming from over there.
JOE: Someone's coming inside ...
KRULLA: Everybody get down.
WISHBONE: I'm down!
KRULLA: [whispers] Be quiet.
WISHBONE: [whispers] I'm quiet!
[Officer Krulla gets up to face the source of the noise]
WISHBONE: This is it. Here we are. About to come face to face with the mysterious stranger ...


[a figure can be seen lurking in the shadows, when a flashlight shines on him to reveal it's Mister Knutson]
KRULLA: [from off camera] Alright, don't move a muscle! We gotcha covered!
[the rest of the lights turn on, as Krulla and Wanda surround him]
WANDA: You heard him, buddy! Freeze! Don't move, I mean it! Not a muscle!
KRULLA: It's alright, Wanda ... he's not moving.
WANDA: What?
[he points at the man, standing perfectly still]
WANDA: [pause] Oh. Okay.
ELLEN: Ezra Knutson? The kids were right!
WISHBONE: Hmm, how come people are always surprised when kids and dogs are right?
ELLEN: Your wife wrote us that you died!
MR. KNUTSON: I wrote that letter, so you wouldn't suspect me.
DAVID: Why were you stealing your own books?
MR. KNUTSON: Because of this ...
[he reaches into his jacket pocket, causing Wanda to flinch]
KRULLA: Hold it right there!
MR. KNUTSON: I assure you, Officer, it's just a magazine ... See?
[he takes out another copy of the library monthly]
MR. KNUTSON: Do you have any idea what it feels like to see your life's work credited to someone else? I spent ten years making this index, and there's not one single mention of me in this article, not one. So, I came here to reclaim my books.
KRULLA: Well, I'm sure the judge will be happy to hear that, pal. Let's go ...
[he grabs him by the shoulder, but Ellen stops him]
ELLEN: No, wait! Mister Knutson, I didn't write that article, and I don't know how the author could've overlooked you, but come over to the computer and look at my program. Please?
[he walks over to the reference desk]
ELLEN: Okay, just have a seat.
MR. KNUTSON: Right here?
ELLEN: Mm-hmm.
[he sits down, and she boots up the computer]
ELLEN: Here's my computer ... Alright, just type in "index" and then press "Enter," and you'll get to my program.
MR. KNUTSON: Your program?
[he types on the computer, then reads the printout on the screen]
MR. KNUTSON: "Welcome to KnutsIndex, a computerized reference index based on the index system of Ezra Knutsen" ...
[he turns to her and smiles]
MR. KNUTSON: You gave me credit!
ELLEN: I'm one of your biggest fans!
MR. KNUTSON: I thought everyone had forgotten me and my work ... Thank you. I'm sorry I created such a disturbance, it was most inappropriate.
ELLEN: Oh, that's alright. I understand why you felt cheated.
MR. KNUTSON: Now, did you just enter the data, or did you take advantage of the advanced cross-referencing that these machines are capable of?
ELLEN: Well, I provided for searches by subject, region, and reference type.
MR. KNUTSON: How about date?
[cut to a closeup of Wishbone, as he rolls his eyes]
WISHBONE: Librarians ...
ELLEN: [from off camera] I never even thought of that, that's such a great idea!
[cut to Officer Krulla with an exasperated look on his face]
KRULLA: So, am I gonna arrest him?
JOE: I don't think so ...
[cut back to Wishbone, as he lies down on the floor]
WISHBONE: Well, that's just great! It's amazing how much better you can make someone feel just by showing them that you understand ...


[Ellen and Joe are having dinner with Mister Knutson, as Wishbone sits on the floor nearby]
MR. KNUTSON: That was wonderful!
ELLEN: Oh, thank you.
MR. KNUTSON: Thank you Ellen, and thank you Joe. You've been wonderful hosts!
ELLEN: Well, it was our pleasure.
MR. KNUTSON: But I must be returning to my wife, before she accidentally gets word of my death.
[she laughs, as they all get up and head for the door]
ELLEN: Well, I'm so glad that I had the chance to meet you.
JOE: And I'm glad you're not a ghost!
MR. KNUTSON: Well, if I was gonna come back to haunt something, I couldn't think of a better place than the library!
[she laughs]
ELLEN: Well, as soon as I'm finished entering your books, I'll send them right to Florida.
MR. KNUTSON: Why don't you just send me a copy on floppy disk? It's much more convenient ...
ELLEN: Alright, I will!
[she shakes his hand]
ELLEN: Well, take care Mister Knutson!
MR. KNUTSON: Bye Ellen!
[he shakes Joe's hand]
MR. KNUTSON: Goodbye, Joe!
JOE: Goodbye!
[he opens the door for him]
MR. KNUTSON: Thanks.
[he leaves, as Joe and Ellen head back for the kitchen]
JOE: Well mom, for a ghost, Mister Knutson's a pretty nice guy.
ELLEN: Yeah, I'm glad we have that mystery solved.
[they stop, then cut to the (empty) dinner table]
ELLEN: What happened to the rest of the roast?
JOE: Wishbone!
[the dog emerges from under the table, licking its chops]
WISHBONE: Urp, don't lookit me! This dining room must be haunted! Mmm ... Ellen, how 'bout a mint?



Pantin' at the Opera (Season 1, Episode 37)

After a magazine article is published praising Ellen's computerized library cataloging system, mysterious things begin to happen at the library reminding Wishbone of The Phantom of the Opera.

Larry Brantley ... Wishbone (voice)
Jordan Wall ... Joe Talbot
Christie Abbott ... Sam Kepler
Adam Springfield ... David Barnes
Mary Chris Wall ... Ellen Talbot
James N. Harrell ... Mr. Knutson (as James Harrell)



Wishbone is a television show which aired from 1995 to 1998 and reruns from 1998 to 2001 in the United States featuring a Jack Russell Terrier of the same name. The main character, the talking dog Wishbone, lives with his owner Joe Talbot in the fictional modern town of Oakdale, Texas. As he tends to daydream about being the lead character of stories from classic literature, drawing parallels between the stories and events in the lives of Joe and his friends, he was known as "the little dog with a big imagination". The show follows his daydreams, as Wishbone acts out a famous story from literature or folklore.

Wishbone: A well-read dog who sees parallels between classic literature and the dilemmas he and his human friends face every day. Wishbone is a male tri-color Jack Russell Terrier (white with brown and black markings), who lives with the Talbots at their home on Forest Avenue in Oakdale. In his normal contemporary life, none of the humans can hear Wishbone speak, though the audience can. He seems to be under the impression that humans would hear him if they just paid attention and he often bemoans the fact that they do not do so. In the classic literature stories he imagines himself in, humans can hear him and they apparently perceive him as a human. He is portrayed by "Soccer" the dog, his thoughts given voice by Larry Brantley.

Joe Talbot: Wishbone's teen-aged owner, the only child of Steve and Ellen Talbot. Joe has brown hair and a great interest in sports, particularly basketball. He is a player on the Sequoyah Middle School basketball team. His best friends are Samantha Kepler and David Barnes. His father Steve, a basketball coach, died from a rare blood disease when Joe was six years old. Portrayed by Jordan Wall.

Ellen Talbot: Joe's widowed mother, who, like him, has dark brown hair. She works as the reference librarian at Henderson Memorial Library in Oakdale. Portrayed by Mary Chris Wall.

Case Study No. 0673: Kate the Female Shirtless Librarian

The Female Shirtless Librarian
0:45 Kate wanders to the Library of Congress to do a little, um, archiving.
Tags: adventure cityscape cruise shirtless destination landmark museum nonnude travel log library congress washington d.c.
Added: 4 years ago
From: MerryMaryTravelogues
Views: 405,419

[cut to a young woman wearing a blazer (but no undershirt) standing in front of a green screen projection of inside the Library of Congress and speaking directly to the camera]
KATE: Shhh, you're being too noisy! I'm Kate, reporting at the copyright offices at the Library of Congress.
[cut to a closeup of Kate]
KATE: My producer sent me down here to copyright tomorrow's script. As I was passing through the library, guess who I saw?
[a still image of Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez appears]
KATE: Robert Gonzalez!
["Um, Alberto ... " appears on screen]
KATE: Yeah, he works here now! Inventory. I also saw Dick Cheney.
[a still image of Dick Cheney flashes briefly on screen]
KATE: He's cryogenically frozen right next to the Gutenberg Bible. Weird, huh?
[cut to another shot of Kate]
KATE: I'm Kate, reporting for the Merry Travelogues from Independence Avenue! Say, did you know that there's only one fifteen-letter word the never repeats a single letter? Uncopyrightable.

The Merry Travelogues
www dot tmtgirls dot com

J. Sibley Law
Adam Warwas
Jeremy Funke
Kristin Santa Maria



Saxon Mills, LLC (prod.) is casting The Merry Travelogues, which is viewed 7,000-10,000 times daily as it moves into its second quarter online, with a growing fan base on online networks around the globe. J. Sibley Law, prod.-dir.; Duncan Saylor, DP; Kimberly West, line prod. Flexible production dates in CT.

Seeking--Female Travel Cortespondent: 18-29, silly, sensual, serf-confident, able to read a teleprompter, who can portray naivety with a hint of savvy, should be comfortable with body work in a fun studio.



'News For Blondes' scores top Internet award
June 28, 2007

Blondes now have a virtual reality of their very own, thanks to a production team from Stratford. This spring it won a prestigious Webby Award, considered the Oscars for the Internet.

News For Blondes, an Internet video webcast offering "perky world news" in 90-second doses, features its blonde host Bonnie's take on the world at large.

She's not Walter Cronkite.

In a satirical spin-off, Bonnie runs for President (you know, of the United States?), and the result is a hilarious lampoon of political campaigns and candidates.

A panel of judges that included singer David Bowie, Hollywood mogul Harvey Weinstein, political gadfly Arianna Huffington and "Simpsons" creator Matt Groening recognized Bonnie for President ( as a Webby Award Official Honoree.

An entry by also received the same recognition, boosting Bonnie's Internet street credit, if not her gravitas.

Is that a big deal?

"It's a huge deal," says J. Sibley Law, co-creator and production team leader for News For Blondes.

Law is the chairman of Stratford's Arts Commission. The NFB production team also includes his wife, Patti, as well as Danielle Hawthorne, a member of Stratford's Economic and Community Development Commission, and of course, Bonnie.

Bonnie Borst, an actress from New York City who has appeared in numerous commercials, plays the host.

News For Blondes and Bonnie for President don't portray blondes as sexy airheads, as in thousands of blonde jokes.

Instead, Bonnie is more in the vein of Reece Witherspoon's character in the "Legally Blonde" movies, impossibly perky, self-absorbed and focused on superficialities, like fashion and celebrities, to the exclusion of just about everything else.

Law said grew out of a conversation he had in 2005 with an Internet advertisement sales manager who said video was about to get very big on the web.

His company, Saxon Mills LLC, produced "Dishes," a 90-second cooking show geared for the 18-24 age group, the ones watching most of the Internet videos, and syndicated it on other websites.

News For Blondes started as a title, which the production team worked out. Law also enlisted Mark Lambeck, another Stratford resident, as a writer. Cheri Daniels, a former broadcast journalist, came on as the director, and Alex diSouza, Osi Korn and Patti Law worked post-production.

Joining Bonnie on the webcast are a happy weatherman, played by Jeffrey Sherman, and a travel correspondent, Merry Mary, played by Mary McLellan.

Their reports sometimes are borderline risque, not rated R, but not recommended for children either.

In one, Bonnie appears in front of a video of an erupting geyser that she identifies with double entendres as the Fountain of Youth. Twice someone off camera corrects her: "That's Old Faithful, Bonnie." Finally she tosses her hair and moves on, without giving the impression that she understands her mistake. Whatever.

Law said one of the biggest difficulties is defining News For Blondes for the audience. Often when men visit the site they find it is not what they expected, he said.

"It started out as a spoof news show, and now it's become entertainment news," he said. "It's female friendly, comedy news."

The topics for the show come from pop culture, not serious news. "She's completely enamored with pop culture," Law said of his host.

Paris Hilton is a favorite topic, providing the perfect mix of blondeness and being well known for being well known, although Bonnie doesn't quite approve of Paris's past.

"In all honesty," Law said, "sometimes we make the news up." When that happens, it's so outlandish that it's obvious.

"Our tagline is 'perky world news,' and we stick to that 90 percent of the time," he said.

Last January, the NFB team launched Bonnie's presidential campaign. These spots consist of Borst in full blonde regalia intimately addressing the audience in an appeal for votes.

But Bonnie for President has its tongue pressed squarely in it cheek, and the result is a sly send-up of politics and some well-known politicians.

On the subject of campaign finance reform, she hopes she will get plenty of campaign cash and assures the audience that she will funnel it through the proper channels. "I'm sure you want to reward the good politicians," she says, obviously meaning herself.

Announcing the formation of her exploratory committee, Bonnie says she prefers to think of it as a club that people can join to feel good about themselves, "because we all want to feel like we're part of something."

The episode lampoons Hillary Clinton's "I'm in" announcement in perfect blonde style. "About that presidential thing, I'm so in," Bonnie says flashing a high-watt smile.

Another campaign speech nails Al Gore and agrees with him at the same time. Entitled "A blonde-convenient truth," Bonnie says if the polar ice caps melt it would mean she might visit those parts of the world someday, as a background video of Antarctic penguins dissolves into one of a tropical beach resort.

Law said the writers and production team are a mixture of liberals and conservatives. They balance each other out, giving the webcast a moderate point of view. "We try to make fun of everybody equally," he said.

It's the blonde thing to do.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Case Study No. 0672: Thariand

Let's Play Ultima VI The False Prophet #41: Lycaeum
We finally get around to doing what Nystul told us to do and talk to Mariah. But not until after we nick her stuff. Oh, and some more gypsy folk rip us off. Eesh.

Playlist: view_play_list?p= A1A9B1C9F84FB0A6
Tags: lets let's play ultima vi the false prophet eniko ibm pc atari amiga c64 snes fm towns rpg lycaeum captain john hawkins mariah silver tablet zoltan gypsies
Added: 2 years ago
From: enirya
Views: 305


Thariand is a librarian in the Lycaeum in "Ultima VI: The False Prophet."

Thariand was proud of having received the blue star of Nicodemus upon his forehead (a true accomplishment for a mage), and was able to give the Avatar directions to the mage's home near Yew. However, he remarked that if he could learn all the books in the Lycaeum, he would be the mightiest mage of all Britannia.

Thariand was also responsible for organizing the books of the Lycaeum, but his system of organizing the books was very complicated.

* His complicated system for cataloging books may be a parody of the Dewey Decimal System.
* The Lycaeum (situated on the northwestern part of Verity Isle, north of Moonglow) stands as a building symbolizing the principle of Truth. While mighty looking, it never intimidates the traveler. While once a fortress, it is now a huge library and center of science, where dozens of wise men and women, mages and non-mages, work, to further knowledge and decipher the mysteries of the world surrounding them. It is also here, where scholars gather all their knowledge.
* Thariand is charged with the care of the biggest collection of books in all of Britannia, with every book ever printed present in the Lycaeum with one volume. The Lycaeum is also known to house the Flame of Truth and the Book of Truth, two items of high symbolical value. It is said that as long as the Lycaeum stands, wisdom will shine in the world.



This is the complete set of books found in the Lycaeum that are in Ultima VI. A total of 31 texts are included here.

(Look-Thou dost see a book. It weighs 1.0 stones:)

Though some might scoff at the idea, the making of breads, pastries, pies, and cakes is one of the highest callings in life. Study this book carefully, and someday you may be prepared to take on this awesome responsibility.


Written and illustrated by Bill Pete
Hubert the Lion was haughty and vain,
And especially proud of his elegant mane.
But conceit of this sort is not proper at all,
And Hubert the Lion was due for a fall.


This book appears to be the log of a ship called "The Empire." The last entry speaks of the burying of a great treasure, and of the growing discontentment of the crew. There's a hastily scrawled note at the end, in different handwriting, that says "Captain Hawkins won't be makin' no more log entries."


Back in the days of the Avatar's Quest, rumors spread of a strange sight in the skies. A tinker from the town of Minoc, claimed to have rediscovered the lost art of ballooning. According to ancient lore, this was a mystical practice that allowed one to soar through the air, higher than the birds themselves. No records have been found of the rituals used to perform this feat, but several farmers from the area still tell tales of strange sights. A strange sphere was seen, way up in the sky, and the voices of men could be heard drifting down from it. The apparition drifted up into the clouds and was lost to sight. This took place years ago, and naught has been heard of the mystic art of ballooning since that time.

by Norlick the Elder

Though gargoyles are considered by most to be mere legend, no records exist documenting the origins of the gargoyle "statues" that adorn many castles. Even the towering stone guardians of the Codex of Ultimate Wisdom have many of the physical characteristics of the "legendary" gargoyle. Nobody seems to know where they came from either. Despite the lack of hard evidence, there have been a fair number of unconfirmed reports of sightings of live gargoyles.It is the opinion of this author that daemons are a form of gargoyle. As many reliable encounters with daemons have been documented in various scholarly works, perhaps this is the best source of further information on the subject of gargoyles.


Once upon a time, in a strange land far away, there was a wizard's apprentice. His master, Eldritch, sent him on three quests, knowing he would learn his lessons best with the real world as his classroom. He encountered many strange and wonderful things. Ghouls and griffins stood in his way, and ghosts and giants as well. But he also found new friends, and brave adventurers to help him. He rode on a flying carpet, and on the back of a giant turtle.

Finally, after exploring an abandoned mine, a pyramid, and a castle in the clouds, he finished his third quest. He had learned so much on his journeys that his master rewarded him well, and declared him a wizard in his own right. He soon opened a school of his own, and as the years passed, and students came and went, his beard grew long with years.


Once, in the kingdom of Ashtalarea, there was a great war. For a time it seemed the forces of evil would triumph, but through the valiant efforts of Seggallion, the greatest knight in the land, the forces of the dark lord Pildar were finally driven back and defeated. All was well for a time, but years later Pildar had grown powerful again. From his dark tower he wove his evil schemes, and managed to capture the Duke, and the great knight Seggallion as well. With his greatest foe out of the way, he was prepared once more to set out on a campaign of conquest. In those troubled times, a party of great heroes arose. After many perilous adventures they finally won their way to Seggallion's prison and set him free. They then set forth to discover what had become of the Duke...


Early in the reign of Lord British there came unto the land of Britannia a powerful wizard named Mondain. He brang forth many creatures of great evil, using the power of his magic to control them. And there was great suffering throughout the land. It was in these days that the Avatar first came unto our realm, to vanquish Mondain and liberate our people.


After Mondain's passing, Minax the enchantress brought forth terrors to menace the populace. She had been apprentice to Mondain. Perhaps more than that, if the moaning and wailing that echoed through the halls outside their shared bedchamber bore any meaning. She established a reign of death and destruction, her magic fueled by the strength of her passion. Again it was only the return of the Avatar that put an end to the oppression. Minax was vanquished, as Mondain before her.


Once Minax was gone, peace reigned for twenty years. And then the last of Mondain's legacy became known. For he and Minax had together produced an unholy creation known only as Exodus. For many years it had stayed hidden, patiently gathering information to heighten its powers. Finally it chose to exploit the results of its diligence. Creating a mighty castle to reside in, Exodus brought forth a third plague of monsters, and nowhere in Britannia was safe from its relentless evil. This was the greatest challenge yet for our hero from another world; yet once again the Avatar proved triumphant. And with the defeat of Exodus, a new era of prosperity began.


In days not long past, the Council of Wizards erected shrines to the eight virtues, that people throughout the land might meditate upon them. It was through studying the eight virtues and the three underlying principles that the great hero, who had defeated the Triad of Evil, started down the path that led to Avatarhood.

For verily it is known that the three principles are Truth, Love and Courage;
And that from Truth arises Honesty;
And from Love arises Compassion;
And from Courage arises Valour;
And that Truth comingled with Love gives rise to Justice;
And Love comingled with Courage gives rise to Sacrifice;
And Courage comingled with Truth gives rise to Honor;
And Truth, Love and Courage all united create Spirituality;
And the absence of all three principles leads to the vice of pride, which leads us to think of the virtue that is its opposite, that of Humility.

And on the quest to become the embodiment of the eight virtues, the Avatar recovered the Codex of Ultimate Wisdom, and discovered that the one underlying concept that leads to the three principles which lead to the eight virtues is Infinity. Ponder this well, oh seeker!


After the shining example set by the Avatar, Britannia seemed all set to enter a golden age of peace and plenty. And then a great tragedy took place. Lord British, the beloved ruler who united the land of Britannia, and saw it through some of the hardest times in its history, was lost. He had gone on an expedition to explore the newly discovered underworld, and never returned. Many thought him dead. Lord Blackthorn took control in his absence, declaring martial law to maintain order. It was also around this time that the three shadowlords appeared at Stonegate. They were powerful, evil creatures, who could warp the minds of men and turn them away from the three principles. 'Tis said they could draw on "the power of the vortex" to transport themselves instantly anywhere in the realm. It was a dark time. The Avatar was summoned back to Britannia, and ultimately managed to rescue Lord British before the collapse of the Underworld, restoring him to his rightful place on the throne.


In exotic Khantun, there was a benevolent Emperor known as Chao Ti. He ruled wisely and well until his Warlord, Zhurong, acquired an elixir from the evil alchemist Shen Jang to put the Emperor into a coma. Evil spirits from the Astral Plane took over shrines throughout the land, and it was a dark time. But a young student, after completing his studies of the martial arts in a small monastery, managed to liberate the shrines, defeat the warlord, and cure the Emperor with the Elixir of Immortality. Long will his name be honored in Khantun.


A great dragon named Freitag came unto the Mystic Isles, and there was much fear and anguish amongst the populace. One day the warrior Gertan set forth to beard the dragon in her lair, a vast series of caverns inhabited by strange creatures. He drove Freitag away from the land, and there was much rejoicing.


Chess: Try to control the middle of the board with your knights, bishops, and pawns.
Nine Men's Morris: Don't let any of your pieces get trapped in the corners.
Draughts: Keep your pieces along the sides of the board, where they can't be captured.


Some say that in our dreams our astral selves journey to other realms of existence. Others say that imps and daemons create dreams to disturb our sleep. Now let the truth be known! Dreams are messages from the spirit world. Someday we will learn to decipher them, and benefit greatly thereby.


There is a zen to shooting well. Become one with your crossbow. Clear your mind of all thoughts save that of flying with the bolt to strike the target, and you will not miss.


Gambling is the surest way of getting nothing for something.
Small deeds done are better than great deeds planned.
Never play backgammon with a centaur.


Mistletoe is easiest to find in the spring. Cut the sprigs with your left hand for greatest effectiveness. Hibiscus leaves can be used to make a tea which is excellent for sore throats. Never step on a dandelion, for it will anger any leprechaun who sees you do so.

by Frank L. Baum

A little girl named Dorothy, from the far off land of Kansas was carried to the realm of Oz by a tornado. And her little dog, too! She met three faithful companions, who vowed to help her find a way home. There was a scarecrow, who was on a quest for truth, a man of tin, who was questing for love, and a lion, who quested for courage. Before their quest was done, little Dorothy slew the wicked witch, freeing the land from her evil influence. Her friends completed their quests, and she returned home to Kansas.

by Lewis Carroll

Alice saw a peculiar white rabbit one day. It was looking at its pocket watch and worrying about how late it was. Alice chased it down a rabbit hole, and fell a very long way. She found herself in a strange land. She went to a tea party there, with a mad hatter and a dormouse. She also met a strange caterpillar, and a cat that could vanish, with its grin dissappearing last. The queen of hearts yelled "Off with her head!" and her guards ran up to grab Alice - but then she awakened, and realized it had all been a dream.


Ahm Kim Rum Bem Mu Dim Sum Kyo Ra Lox Nid Pey Beh Un Or Us Cah Biff Pow Ohm Summ Bang Lis Zowie Om Cow Frem Ort Lum Spam Mho Yum Tea Meow

The Book of Ritual

vervid ben kua i, naksatilor, skri kuo i porle kodeks uide terreg ew estade kalle ante tim benommani: ku auks lorrelinlem i beninle vorteks lorrel, o kua i le vid kodeks kuater lem terinit anporle. i inle vorteks kuad re inbet grav ok orblap ew trakpor vorteks destrak termur. estatim i perle lorrel re inuislor kodeks ad kuad. vorteks tanle uide terailem, uislor inle ailemde, ew kodeks porle des re perle bende pa uide zenmur.
Heed well as I, Naxatilor, write of how I brought the Codex to our land and thereby ushered in the time of prosperity: With the help of the Lensmaker I crafted the Vortex Lens, by which I could see the Codex where it originally rested. I created the Vortex Cube to focus the power of the Moonstones and draw the Vortex down to the world. Then I used the lens to form an image of the Codex upon the cube. The Vortex touched our plane, the image became solid, and the Codex was brought down to be used properly by our race!

The Book of The Underworld

alt desde terreg ai ali terreg. ante esta terreg manite mur aniw zen. plu tri de ista zen vid zaw ve uide anvolde lem. ista daemon ade pal ew delsa. kualem lokte ista daemon de destermur sa lok. ew kerde, lem inte son esta misve uide liy. a kua lemmur uiste, an zen anku vol verde uis. feluis de lokde daemon nes ankredle.
Deep below the land there is another land. In that land live many strange creatures. The most interesting of these creatures look something like our wingless ones. These daemons, however, are pale and soft. Some say that these daemons from the underworld can speak. And, to be sure, they make sounds that are similar to our language. But as everyone knows, no creature without wings is truly intelligent. Fables of talking daemons must be discredited.

The Book of Administration

dur anmurde vastim ui volde lem monte anvolde lem. ista ver ew behde. a ui nes tutim reski lem an min persa de ui. zentu ku an uiscar ansa por. a ni sa zentu ku an porcar. tu nes per te pri si kui re leinle. er duk anvolde lem, ew ark lem de via feltas. a duk lem ku lentas ew vervid.
For countless ages, we winged ones have led the wingless ones. This is right and proper. But we must always remember that they are no less valuable than we. A body with no head cannot move. But neither can a body with no legs. All must function in unity if anything is to be achieved. So guide the wingless ones, and keep them from paths of error. But guide them with respect.

The Book of Prosperity

vas praetim, vas vidlem naksatilor kalle kodeks ante termur. ita rele vastim benommani. kodeks terle ante terort pritas, teresta re vidle pa lem nesde vasuis. vidlem terreg, monle pa naksatilor, juksarkle kodeks ku saeykt grav. sol lem ad omde vestas trak uis canle terpor ew leg kodeks. ante kodeks skrile pri ben ew ver res kui kuae. lem nes sol terpor kodeks, leg lem, ew inuislok lemde monuis aptade. ku verinde uis ew ankadsa ski, tu mante est ten un, or, ew us nesle re pos apta via. ista est desintas uide murom, ew ita uide zenmur sa per kodeks uisde ew bende. ista est kuauis kodeks est: re mon gargh zenmur trak ultim benommani.
Long ago, the great seer Naxatilor summoned the Codex into the world. Thus began the great time of prosperity. The Codex was placed within the Temple of Singularity, there to be viewed by those requiring its knowledge. The seers of the land, led by Naxatilor, protected the Codex with a forcefield. Only those upon sacred quests for wisdom are allowed to reach and read the Codex. Within the Codex is written the one right and true answer to any problem. One has but to reach the Codex, read it, and interpret its advice properly. With perfect wisdom and infallible knowledge, all that remains is to have the control, passion and diligence required to follow the proper course. These are the underpinnings of our society, and so our race is able to use the Codex wisely and well. This is the reason why the Codex exists: to lead the gargoyle race to ultimate prosperity.

The Book of Family

kuatim betlem grespor de ov, lem inzenle anku vol. a vel de inzen lem sa ski si betlem re invas est volde au anvolde lem. anvolde lem ansa lok, ew anten skitas de volde lem. lem nes dukle. volde lem anmur, a lem kredonle ku skitas ew uis de zenmur. lem nes dukte. sek volde ew anvolde lem sal de mis ov, ew sek dete de mis xen. tu per ve pride tutas, re plu ben inten agratas trak temanitas ante uide termur.
When a child hatches from his egg, he is born without wings. But even from birth one can tell whether a child will grow up to be a winged or a wingless one. The wingless ones cannot speak, and lack the intelligence of the winged ones. They must be guided. The winged ones are few, but they are entrusted with the intelligence and wisdom of the race. They must guide. Both winged and wingless ones spring from the same eggs, and both belong to the same family. All function as a single whole, to better maintain the struggle for survival in our world.

The Book of Circles

tu rete ku qi aksi: un, or, ew us. de un sal traktas. de or sal sent. de us sal tepertas. a ista qi bentas an plu mag de sekde pen: un kuporte ku or re don mistas. or kuporte ku us re don leintas. ew us int ku un re don benintas. anai de un, or, ew us est anord. ita anai de aksi vidukte trak semde bentas, ord. qi aksi priinte re in pritas. ista est okde bentas, a lem mistim pri, kuauis kuante pritas sa venle tu aksi, ew ita tu bentas. kir ten an fin. lem teinte tutim, ku tu car parde mag te benfin de tutas. uide murom mis. lem mis teinte tutim, ku tu carzen, ew tu bentas, par car de priinle tutas.
All begins with the three principles: Control, Passion and Diligence. From Control springs Direction. From Passion springs Feeling. From Diligence springs Persistence. But these three virtues are no more important than the other five: Control combines with Passion to give Balance. Passion combines with Diligence to yield Achievement. And Diligence joins with Control to provide Precision. The absence of Control, Passion and Diligence is Chaos. Thus the absence of the principles points toward the seventh virtue, Order. The three principles unify to form Singularity. This is the eighth virtue, but it is also the first, because within Singularity can be found all the principles, and thus all the virtues. A circle has no end. It continues forever, with all parts equally important in the success of the whole. Our society is the same. It too continues forever, with all members (and all virtues) equal parts of the unified whole.


First you must have a wicker balloon basket made, large enough to carry several passengers. Then you'll need a big iron cauldron, to hold a fire to generate the hot air. Next you must have a huge bag sewn out of silk, to hold the hot air in. Lastly, get enough rope to tie the balloon securely to the basket. Once you've gathered all of these together, use these plans to assemble them. When flying your balloon, you'll find that a ship's anchor makes the best ballast, and is also useful for stopping the balloon where and when you wish.


In your travels through life, remember always that Spirituality embodies the sum of all virtues. Chant the mantra "om" as you meditate on Spirituality, and all will become clear to you.


As always, the Codex is open to the pages bearing exactly the information you need.

"To return the Codex to the Vortex, place a convex lens exactly midway between the Codex and the Flame of Singularity, so that the light from the flame converges on the Codex. Place a concave lens between the Codex and the Flame of Infinity, so that its light diverges over the Codex. Then place the eight moonstones within the Vortex Cube. Set it on the ground in front of the Codex, and use it to return the Codex from whence it came."



34. Thariand
You see a busy looking man wearing a blue robe. "So many books to keep organized, it's a wonder I have any time for my own studies... Can I help you with something?"

[SELECT name]
"I am Thariand, of the blue star."

[SELECT job]
"I'm the librarian. I prefer to spend my time studying magic, but I'll help you find some books if you keep it quick."

[SELECT star]
"All the students of Nicodemus bear this sign."

[SELECT Nicodemus]
"He lives southeast of Yew."

"Somebody there should be able to give you directions."

[SELECT magic]
"Were I to master all the arcane lore contained within these volumes, I'd be the greatest sorcerer of all time! Of course, finding all the right books is no small task..."

[SELECT help,find,book]
Were you interested in: A. Fiction B. Non-fiction C. Reference
A. In that category I can recommend: 821.34 Rzl4n, The Caverns of Freitag; Klr 1734 N92 v3, Around the World in a Washtub; 417.8 Baum c6, The Wizard of Oz
B. In that category I can recommend: Ce 437.2 N19, Mating Rituals of the Northern Plains Centaur; 027 z811f, Of Dreams and Visions; 718.5 B34 z5, The Lost Art of Ballooning; Y19 T343 LP, Summoning Incubi for Fun and Profit
C. In that category I can recommend: 665.556 Dlz, Dilzal's Almanac of Good Advice; a001.3 bfb, Priliwig's Universal Compendium of Knowledge; 998.99 ZWX, The Lost Book of Mantras
"Is there anything else you wanted to find?"
"Fine. You should have no trouble finding what you want once you have the call number. You do understand how our books are organized, don't you?"
"Good. I have more important things to do than explain it to you."
"Well then, I'd suggest you look it up in The Beginner's Guide to the Dewey Decimal System. Its call number is T17 0035 r16RL.5 v43."

[SELECT Dewey Decimal System]
"Oh, I'm sorry, I just remembered. That book was checked out last week. Try coming back for it later."

[SELECT shrines]
"We have a book that tells the history of the shrines. If only I could remember the title..."

[SELECT bye]
"Remember, any books you take out of here are due back before the next bipolar lunar conjunction!"

[SELECT (other)]
"You could probably find more information on that topic in Priliwig's Universial Compendium of Knowledge."

Case Study No. 0671: Unnamed Female Librarian (Alberta's Libraries, Books and Beyond)

Alberta's Libraries, Books and Beyond
Books and Beyond - Alberta's Libraries
Tags: Alberta Libraries Library
Added: 4 years ago
From: thealbertalibrary
Views: 10,426

[scene opens with a female patron pulling a book off the shelf, then cut to an overhead shot of the patron sliding the book ("Scrap Booking") to the unseen librarian at the front desk]
[cut to the unseen librarian stamping a piece of paper with "Two days later" in red ink]
[cut to the patron back in the library, staring at a computer (with a glazed look on her face) while repeatedly pressing a stapler instead of the mouse, as the camera pans to show her looking at a website for glue inhalation]
[cut to a piece of paper with the words "Alberta's Libraries", as the librarian reaches in from off camera and stamps it with "Books and beyond" in red ink, then the words "Internet Workshops CDs" appear on screen]
[cut to a male patron pulling a book off the shelf (as he nervously looks around to make sure nobody's watching), then cut to an overhead shot of the patron sliding the book ("Kama Sutra") to the unseen librarian at the front desk]
[cut to the unseen librarian stamping a piece of paper with "Three years later" in red ink]
[cut to the patron back in the library, now with two crying children and a disheveled look on his face, as the camera zooms in to show him looking at a DVD entitled "No scalpel vasectomy, a medical miracle"]
[cut to a piece of paper with the words "Alberta's Libraries", as the librarian reaches in from off camera and stamps it with "Books and beyond" in red ink, then the words "DVDs Internet Workshops" appear on screen]



Launched in October 2008, the "Books and Beyond" public library campaign promotes the variety of resources available at Alberta's public libraries. Featuring primarily 15-second TV and radio spots and online ads, the Books and beyond campaign features scenarios that show people using not only books but CDs, DVDs, the Internet and library programs for everything from climbing Mount Everest to roasting poultry. Each scenario comes with a twist.

The Alberta Library received the 2009 International Federation of Library Associations and Institutions International Library Marketing Award for the 2008 Books and beyond campaign.

American cable broadcaster TBS also featured two Books and beyond TV spots among the funniest ads from around the world (search the ads at

Case Study No. 0670: Miho Nosaka (student library worker)

????????????~Promised Land~
Video with Nosaka Miho with the 1st opening song of Mermaid Melody Pichi Pichi Pitch: Tayou no Rakuen


Ooki na tabi ni deyou taiyou to kaze no kanata e
Kitto chizu ni wa nai rakuen no DOA wo hiraite

Kono sekai ni kimi ga umareta asa shukufuku no kane ga natta
Tatta hitotsu takaramono wo daite hito wa umaretekuru

Ano hi no kimochi wo wasurenaide kokoro ni nagareru Dear My Songs

Bokura wa tabi no tochuu taiyou no kuni wo mezashite
Donna chizu ni monai yakusoku no basho e
Arifureta monogatari wo hateshinai mirai ni kaete
Kitto ironna yume kanaete yuku kara... waratte
Tags: Yugioh Miho Mermaid Melody ~Promised Land~
Added: 2 years ago
From: hikarinefer
Views: 5,110


Miho Nosaka is a character in the Yu-Gi-Oh! manga, first series anime and Yu-Gi-Oh! the Movie. In the English version of the Yu-Gi-Oh! Dungeon Dice Monsters video game, she is called Melody.

Miho appeared once in the manga in a story where Honda bought her a love jigsaw puzzle. In Toei's anime, she was made into a main character along with Yugi, Anzu, Honda, and Jonouchi. Her role and personality in the anime are significantly different and Honda is actually in love with Miho throughout the whole of this continuity. The jigsaw puzzle story is changed in the anime to revolve around Mayumi buying the puzzle for Jonouchi.

In the manga, Miho is a meek, kind, shy, and quiet girl.

In the anime, Miho is cheerful and flirty, though she can also be a stubborn and resilient girl who none the less cares deeply for her friends safety. She sometimes refers to herself as in third person. Miho shows signs of being a typical fangirl, squealing at any given moment when an attractive male (mainly Ryo Bakura) walks past. Much like Honda, she is a romanticist at heart. However, Miho can also be naive and at times a little dim witted, oblivious to the feelings of those around her, much to Honda's dismay.

In the anime, if someone hurts her friends, her personality will become serious and she will come to their defense, as evidenced when she confronted Warashibe for giving Anzu, Honda, and Jonouchi polluted water and making them sick.

Manga biography
Miho was in class 1-B at Domino High School and a student librarian. She was nicknamed "ribbon" or "ribbon-chan" by her friends for the yellow ribbon she wears in her hair.

Hiroto Honda had a crush on her and bought a love jigsaw puzzle from Sugoroku Mutou, the grandfather of Yugi Mutou, as a gift for Miho. He got Yugi to write a love letter to Miho on the puzzle, that would be revealed on completion, for him. Yugi, Jonouchi and Honda put the puzzle on Miho's desk before class. Later, a beautiful teacher named Ms. Chono decided to do a desk check. When she found the puzzle, she asked who it was from. Yugi, Jonouchi, and Honda all confessed, so Chono decided to solve it to find out which one it was from, after announcing she will expel the person who made the puzzle. All the attention drawn to herself caused Miho to be greatly embarrassed which caused Honda great grief.

Dark Yugi came out and turned the jigsaw in a Shadow Game, causing Chono to feel the pain she was inflicting on others as she solved the jigsaw. When she solved the puzzle, her makeup peeled away, revealing an ugly face. Embarrassed, Chono ran out of the classroom.

Miho turned down Honda after he directly asked her out. Afterwards, Yugi and Jonouchi bought him a hamburger to cheer him up, and Honda became friends with Yugi.

Anime biography
Miho is Anzu's best friend and a close friend of Yugi Muto, Katsuya Jonouchi, Hiroto Honda, who is madly in love with her, and Ryo Bakura. According to Anzu, Miho's favorite food is natto.

Miho entered the classroom while Jonouchi was tormenting Yugi. She said that the cafeteria line was long and she had had nothing for lunch, prompting Honda to volunteer to buy her lunch.

After school one day, Jonouchi and Yugi agreed to go to Burger World on the way home. Honda disagreed as it would be against school rules. Miho enthusiastically said that she'd like to go, causing Honda to change his mind. Anzu tried to discourage them from going, by saying she'd heard bad things about the place and reminded them of the escaped convict on the loose. Jonouchi noted how Anzu had been acting weird lately and not accompanying them on their way home from school over the last few days. He wondered if Anzu could be dating older men for pay. Miho, not wanting Anzu to live such a life, followed her home to tried and "rescue her". However she found Anzu was actually working in Burger World, but keeping it a secret as part-time jobs were against school rules. Miho too got a job at Burger World, wanting the extra money to buy things. She accompanied Anzu on her way home after school the next day. Honda suspected Miho was also dating for pay and followed, resulting in him getting a job too, wanting the extra money to buy stuff for Miho. The three were followed home by Yugi and Jonouchi the next day. Two escaped convicts entered Burger World that day and one of them wound up taking Anzu hostage. Miho, Honda and Anzu quit after this incident. Honda and Miho however got a new job at a noodle shop.

Miho was invited to Seto Kaiba's mansion along with the rest of Yugi's friends. She was immediately fond of Kaiba because of his wealth, making Honda jealous.

Honda was convinced by Miho to get up early to wait in line to buy a D-Shock watch for her. However the watch got stolen by Shotaro Akaboshi, while Honda wasn't paying attention. At the arcade when Miho arrived to collect the watch, Honda discovered it was missing and stripped down to his underwear while searching his clothes for it. Miho slapped him and ran off crying. Dark Yugi won the watch back in a Shadow Game and had it returned to Honda, who passed it on to Miho. Two days later, Honda offered to wait in line to buy Miho perfume.

Miho got a Digital Pet and hoped to win the prize holiday in an upcoming tournament. However she didn't want to spend time training the pet for the tournament herself, so she made sure to say this in front of Honda, who volunteered to take care of the pet. Honda took days off school and returned with the pet, now named Super Strawberry, which he used to defeat Kujirada's pet Devil Master, who was after eating Anzu and Jonouchi's pets. Haiyama, who had been manipulating Kujirada, kidnapped Miho and left a note. Honda got whipped by Haiyama, as he attempted to rescue Miho. While he was unconscious, Dark Yugi defeated Haiyama in a Digital Pet duel. As Miho lay unconscious on Honda, she spoke about going on the holiday, but with her mother rather than Honda.

Mayumi had a crush on Jonouchi. Looking for ideas in what gift to get him, she asked Miho and Anzu what Jonouchi was interested in. Miho said porn videos, but after realizing that Mayumi was looking for a gift, they got Yugi to help and ended-up getting a jigsaw love letter.

The college student, Warashibe, desperately tried to win Miho's affection, by sending her Capsule Monster Chess pieces as presents. Warashibe pretended to be a hero in front of Miho by saving her from a guy, who was really Yugi in disguise. However Miho recognized Yugi and Warashibe's appearance didn't meet her expectations. Warashibe tried to invite Miho to his secret base, but she refused and slapped him after getting too creeped out. Embarrassed by what happened, Warashibe poisoned Miho's friends, prompting her to confront him. Yugi led her to Warashibes's base, where she was forced into a game of Capsule Monster Chess. Upon realizing that Warashibe had rigged the dispenser to give Miho the weaker monsters, Miho got up to leave. Warashibe refused to let them leave, as he wanted to put Miho in a giant CapMon capsule. He quickly closed his gate, which broke, causing a part of it to hit Miho and Yugi, knocking them out. Yugi changed to Dark Yugi, who finished the Capsule Monster Chess game, defeating Warashibe and rescuing Miho.

When Yugi and Anzu went to Domino Park together, Miho, Jonouchi and Honda investigated to see if it's a date. Miho lashed at Honda after he suggested that they go to the pool, so he could see her in a swimsuit. Regardless she still spent time with Honda in the pool. She managed to get out of the park during the evacuation when there was a bomb scare, but returned after the bomber was captured.

Miho congratulated Yugi after he received a love letter from Risa Kageyama and asked Anzu if she felt jealous. She continued to spy on Yugi's love life, by hiding in the bushes with the rest of his friends to watch Yugi meeting Risa.

Honda tried talking Miho into taking part in a beauty pageant. After Miho fell for Ryo Bakura, she agreed to do it. Fellow contestant, Kaoruko Himekoji and her supporter, the Student Council Chairman, tried to sabotage Miho's chances of winning. Miho performed majorette dancing in the first round. The chairman had her swimsuit torn-up for the next round, but Miho improvised and wore a mermaid costume from the school drama supplies. Before the final round, Himekoji mugged Miho and tore her dress. Dark Yugi then defeated Himekoji in a Shadow Game, causing her to withdraw from the competition as well.

Miho also helps her friends during the Death T and the Monster World arcs.

In Yu-Gi-Oh! The Movie she hangs out with her friends at school and has a laugh with her fiends. Miho, Honda, Yugi and Jounochi head to a card shop to watch Yugi and Jounochi play a game of Duel Monsters. Much to the gang's shock they discover that Anzu now worked there. Miho watched Yugi play the game as he explained it to her. Honda challenged her but she wanted to watch more. A boy named Shougo was being picked on because he couldn't play the game very well. Anzu explained that the child had been there before but is too timid to play.

Her final appearance was her having a good time with her friends and Shougo.



Yu-Gi-Oh! Episode 17
A Beautiful Teacher with Concealed Face

AIRED: 6/6/98
Yugi is walking home from school when Jounouchi and Honda join him. Yugi doesn't like Honda walking home with them but he doesn't say it out loud. Then Jounouchi says that they have something to talk about with Yugi, Hondagoes crazy and tells Jounouchi not to tell Yugi. Yugi wonders if it's about Honda while Honda is stating the fact that Yugi's got a grudge against him and will tell the whole school. Jounouchi says that Yugi isn't that kind of person. So Jounouchi tells Yugi that Honda is in love with the student librarian, Miho Nosaka a.k.a. Ribbon. He then explains that they need a way to get Ribbon to notice Honda and was wondering if they could get something from Yugi's game shop. Yugi agrees and they buy a blank Jigsaw Puzzle from Yugi's grandpa. But Honda doesn't know what to write because he's never written a love letter before, so he asks Yugi to write it. Later that night Yugi is stuck writing Honda's Love Jigsaw Puzzle and he ends up writing; My beloved Ribbon You look perfect in your yellow ribbon I love you more than anything in the universe. From Hiroto Honda. In the morning the trio get together before school to put it in Ribbon's (Miho) desk. The scene then changes to Ms. Chono who's walking to her classroom right when the bell rings. All of the male teachers are talking about how they want to date her, and how she expelled 15 kids in just 6 months. Also that the students call her "The Wicked Witch of Expel". The Vice Principal asks Ms. Chono how her date went, she says that he wasn't up to her standards and that she needed to get to class. Ms. Chono is now in the bathroom (well i'm assuming the bathroom since their's a sink and a mirror). Then she punches the mirror because the Vice Principal reminded her that her other date had dumped her. She gets angry but calms down because she needs to redo her make up. At class Ms. Chono announces that it's 'Inspection Time', or time to empty your contents on your desk. Yugi and Jouncouhi freak out, but Tristan just stares with disbelief. Meanwhile, Ribbon's found the gift in her desk and she wonders what it is. Ms. Chono then is happy because the students look 'terrified' and 'guilty'. Then she walks down the aisle to Ribbon's desk and picks up the present from Honda. Then Ms. Chono takes it to her desk, opens it, and starts putting it together. Then she asks who gave this to Miho (Ribbon, i like switching off names...) and Honda stands up to find out that Jounouchi and Yugi are standing too. Then Ms. Chono asks why all three of them are standing and then realizes that she can just finish the puzzle to figure out who sent it. Then Yugi lets Yami take over (no one knows the difference yet though) and he turns the Jigsaw Puzzle into a Shadow Game, so as much as she hurts others, she will hurt herself. Ms. Chono finsihes the puzzle and is announcing the name when her face clicks off in jigsaw puzzle pieces. The make up is removed and all that is left is Ms. Chono's ugly face, which the other kids in the class point out happily. She then runs out of the room and threatens to get them if any of them tell anoyone else her secret. Yugi then comes back with no memory of what just happened. Later, Tristan screws up his courage and asks Ribbon out directly. But she refused him. The three are now friends! ;)moreless

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Case Study No. 0669: The Librarian (Return to the Library of Doom)

Return to the Library of Doom
The world's largest collection of deadly and dangerous books just got better! Our popular series The Library of Doom is back with a new name and longer stories.
Tags: Books Dahl Librarian
Added: 2 years ago
From: CapstonePublishers
Views: 903

Return to the Library of Doom

Library = A collection of books and other written materials
Doom = Ruin, destruction, the end of things
Return = To come back

Come back.
We've been waiting for you ...

Return to the Library of Doom

Twice the terror ...

Twice the adventure ...

... And twice as long

Return ... to The Librarian

Return ... to the Library

Return to the Library of Doom, by Michael Dahl

Fall 2010




The Librarian is the guardian of the world’s largest, and most secret collection of powerful and dangerous books. If any of those books should get into the wrong hands, humanity is doomed! In these new, and longer additions to the popular series, the Librarian battles unusual foes alongside a powerful companion, the Specialist.

Titles from this series:

* The Book That Ate My Brother
* Inkfoot
* Rats on the Page
* The Sea of Lost Books
* The Vampire Chapter
* Zombie in the Library



Michael Dahl is the author of the "Library of Doom" and "Return to the Library of Doom" series of childrens' fantasy/mystery books.

Meet the mysterious Librarian. Keeper of the world's most dangerous books, sworn enemy of monsters made of paper and ink, crusader of young people threatened by ancient curses. Enter the Library of Doom, where the Librarian's exploits merge heart-pounding tales with startling artwork.

The Library of Doom is the world's largest collection of strange and dangerous books. The Librarian's duty is to keep the books from falling into the hands of those who would use them for evil purposes.

Library of Doom

The Beast Beneath the Stairs (2007)
The Book That Dripped Blood (2007)
The Eye in the Graveyard (2007)
Poison Pages (2007)
The Smashing Scroll (2007)
Cave of the Bookworms (2008)
The Creeping Bookends (2008)
Escape from the Pop-up Prison (2008)
The Golden Book of Death (2008)
The Twister Trap (2008)
The Word Eater (2008)

Return to the Library of Doom

The Book That Ate My Brother (2010)
Inkfoot (2010)
Rats On the Page (2010)
Sea of Lost Books (2010)
The Vampire Chapter (2010)
Zombie in the Library (2010)

Case Study No. 0668: Unnamed Female Librarian (Case of the Overdue Books)

overdue books
Short film made for the MELSA Quiet on the Set short film contest
Tags: overdue books MELSA Quiet on the Set
Added: 3 years ago
From: trmoor
Views: 549

Detective Jack Avery
The Case of the Overdue Books

[cut to a man walking down the street, when he sees a young man hanging a sign on a nearby fence]
DETECTIVE: [in voice over] I was on my way home, when I spotted the kid hanging up signs.
[he stops and questions him]
DETECTIVE: You lose something, kid?
KID: My library card ...
DETECTIVE: All this trouble over a library card? Can't you just get a new one?
KID: It's not that simple. I actually don't think I lost it. I think she stole it.
[the detective shakes his head]
DETECTIVE: A crazy dame ... You shoulda known better, kid.
KID: I have all these overdue books, and they banned me from the library until I can return them ... That card was my ticket to freedom! When I go into a library, I can do anything! Be anything!
DETECTIVE: Come on, kid ...
[they start walking down the street together]
DETECTIVE: [in voice over] The kid needed my help. You'd've thought he'd lost his best friend ... I guess in a way, he had.
[cut to the outside of the library, as a young woman (wearing a trenchcoat and fedora) enters while the detective and kid watch from afar]
DETECTIVE: [in voice over] It took me a few days, but I tracked her down. Turns out, the kid wasn't the only one who fell for her charms. There are a lotta libraries in this city, and she had made her way through most of them.
KID: She's even prettier than I remember ...
DETECTIVE: Yeah, the looks of an angel and the soul of a devil, that one ... Don't worry kid, there's a gal out there for you that's as sweet as she is pretty.
[the two of them enter the library, as the detective takes off his hat and tosses it onto the checkout desk in front of the female librarian]
DETECTIVE: Hang onto this, sweetheart, I'll be back for it later.
[he turns to the kid]
DETECTIVE: Kid, you better stay outta sight. She might see you and run.
[cut to the detective pretending to browse the stacks near the woman, when she turns and smiles (obviously settling on her next "mark")]
[cut to the detective taking a book off the shelf and adding it to a pile on the nearby table, then going off to look for more books ... as he leaves, the woman takes one of the books and begins leafing through it, then acts all innocent when the detective returns]
WOMAN: Oh, I'm sorry. I was just walking by and ... this one looked quite interesting. Is it any good?
DETECTIVE: I don't know, I haven't read it yet. You like history?
WOMAN: I do, but then I like most books ... Um, here. Why don't you let me help you with these?
[he takes his library card out and sets it on top of one of the books, while the woman grabs the pile and carries it for him as they walk off camera]
[cut to the two of them walking towards the checkout desk (as the kid peeks at them from behind one of the bookshelves), when the woman pretends to trip and drops the books on the floor]
WOMAN: Geez, I'm so clumsy sometimes!
[the detective puts his book down and bends down to help her pick up the books]
DETECTIVE: Yeah, I know, I'm that way sometimes.
[as he reaches for one of the books, the woman palms his library card and hides it in her sleeve, then they continue towards the checkout desk]
WOMAN: Okay! Well, it was very nice to meet you.
[she turns to leave, but he grabs her by the arm]
DETECTIVE: Not so fast, sweetheart! Can't check these out without my library card ...
WOMAN: I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about! And y'know, I have an appointment I have to get to, so if you could let go of my arm--
[he reaches into her sleeve and takes out the library card]
DETECTIVE: Have a friend that's been waitin' to see you a long time, and I think you have something of his too.
[they walk off, then cut to the kid in a room reading a book, when they enter]
DETECTIVE: Have a seat.
[she sits down across from the kid]
WOMAN: I should've known you would have found me ... You really loved your books.
KID: Why did you do it?
WOMAN: I like books.
DETECTIVE: Yeah, you like to sell books! I know your game ... Who would'a thought the book business was such a racket?
WOMAN: You know what they say ... knowledge is power.
KID: You sold the books? Now I'll never get my library card back!
DETECTIVE: Come on, sweetheart. We got an appoitment with an officer downtown.
[as the kid hangs his head, the detective takes the woman by the arm and leads her out of the room, but she turns and looks at the kid]
WOMAN: You're a sweet kid. I almost felt bad when I took your library card ...
[they leave, as the kid gets up and follows them out to the checkout desk, where the detective takes his hat back from the librarian]
DETECTIVE: Thanks, doll!
[he puts his hat back on, then reaches into his pocket]
DETECTIVE: Hey kid ...
[he hands the kid a new library card]
DETECTIVE: I got some friends that owe me favors.
KID: Thanks, Jack!
[he turns towards the librarian]
DETECTIVE: You take good care of him, I'm sure you're gonna be seein' a lot of him.
[the kid kisses his new card, as the detective leads the woman out of the library]
DETECTIVE: [in voice over] Another case closed. The kid got his library card back, and I'll see to it that the dame won't be checkin' out any books for a long time ...

This film was produced for the Quiet on the Set short film competition presented by MELSA and in partnership with Comcast, Channel Z & IFP Minnesota

Jack ... Steve Olson
Kid ... Jacob Goettlicher
Woman ... Jennifer Prettyman
Librarian ... Diana Salas

Written, Directed & Edited by
Tracy Moore

Director of Photography
Jan Baker

Special Thanks to
the Staff and Patrons of the Hosmer Library

This has been a
Wooden Nickel Production

Case Study No. 0667: "Librarian for the iPhone"

Download today on the iTunes App Store: WebObjects/ MZStore.woa/wa/ viewSoftware? id=307291157&mt=8

Wish you could shush the people around you while you try to concentrate on an important task?
Want to wake up at the slightest noise around you in an unfamiliar environment?

Librarian for the iPhone does all of this (and more coming soon)!

Simply set the audio level sensitivity and tap start to begin. Once the noise surrounding you exceeds the set sensitivity level, the librarian will shush those around you. A slight delay afterwards prevents excessive shushing.

Should be available for FREE shortly via the iTunes App Store (link will be posted here, but you can just search for "Librarian"). iphone/librarian
Tags: iphone application utility alert audio sound
Added: 3 years ago
From: guidanceisinternal
Views: 1,143

[scene opens with a closeup of someone's iPad, as they tap the "Librarian" app (which brings up a picture of a young female librarian holding a finger to her lips)]
[the app runs (with the "Sensitivity" level set at "0.150000" and the "Current audio level" at "0.022146"), then the person presses "Start" and clears his throat, as the audio level spikes to "0.202209" (causing the green screen to turn red and a female voice to whisper "Shhh!")]
["Once activated, Librarian pauses for approximately 10 seconds before detecting disturbances again" appears on screen, then the iPad screen eventually changes back to green (with the audio level at "0.032318")]
[the person presses "Stop", then shuts off the app]

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Case Study No. 0666: Joseph R. McCarthy Public Librarian

Let's Play Postal 2 - #12 - Burn a Book Save a Tree
No description available.
Tags: Let's Play Postal 2 peepcat1
Added: 2 years ago
From: PeepCat1
Views: 1,168

[the player checks the inventory and selects "Return book"]
POSTAL DUDE: Stupid library book, bitch can't even read!
[the player enters the "Joseph R. McCarthy Public Library," where several protesters are standing in the lobby, holding various signs ("Ignorance is bliss", "Achtung! Hitler wrote a book", "Think before you read", "Knowledge is for Commies", "End litterasy") while chanting "Burn a book! Save a tree!"]
[the player climbs the stairs and enters a room marked "Librarians Office", where a young female librarian is sitting at her desk tending to a long line of irate patrons]
LIBRARIAN: I can help you over here, please!
[a fat male patron at the head of the line steps forward]
LIBRARIAN: Is this everything?
LIBRARIAN: That'll be ten bucks.
MALE PATRON 1: Let's see ... That should cover it. Thanks!
LIBRARIAN: That'll work, thanks!
[the patron leaves, as the player gets in line and waits for the others to finish]
LIBRARIAN: Hey! That'll be twenty dollars.
MALE PATRON 2: And there you go, thank you!
LIBRARIAN: That'll work, thanks!
MALE PATRON 2: You rule!
[he leaves, and the next patron steps forward]
LIBRARIAN: I can help you over here, please!
LIBRARIAN: Hey! Is this everything?
MALE PATRON 3: Probably ...
LIBRARIAN: That'll be twenty bucks.
MALE PATRON 3: Let's see ... That should cover it. Thanks!
LIBRARIAN: And come again!
[he leaves, and the next patron steps forward]
LIBRARIAN: I can help you over here.
LIBRARIAN: Hi, is this everything?
LIBRARIAN: That'll be twenty dollars.
FEMALE PATRON 1: Let's see ... That should cover it. Thanks!
LIBRARIAN: That'll work, thanks!
[she leaves, and the next patron steps forward]
LIBRARIAN: I can help you over here, please!
LIBRARIAN: Uh, okay I guess ...
FEMALE PATRON 2: Well, take care!
LIBRARIAN: Is this everything?
FEMALE PATRON 2: Probably ...
LIBRARIAN: That'll be ten bucks.
FEMALE PATRON 2: Mmm, and there you go!
LIBRARIAN: Okay, great! Thank you!
FEMALE PATRON 2: Kick ass!
[she leaves, as the player looks at a poster on the wall ("Lose your copy? Buy another one! Available only at Paradise Mall") before stepping forward]
POSTAL DUDE: Hi there.
LIBRARIAN: There's a late fee on this of ... forty dollars.
LIBRARIAN: I'm sorry ... Hmm, I'm sorry, but you need more money.
[the player tries again]
POSTAL DUDE: Hi there.
LIBRARIAN: There's a late fee on this of ... forty bucks.
POSTAL DUDE: Fuck you!
LIBRARIAN: I'm sorry ... Hmm, come back when you have the money.
[the player turns to the drop box next to the desk, as "Press X to toss the book into the slot. It's fun!" appears on screen]
[the player drops in the book and "Return Book" is crossed off his to-do list]
POSTAL DUDE: I hope the bitch appreciates the trouble I went to! Time to head home ...
[cut to outside the library, where one male protester (carrying a large gas can) runs up to another male protester waiting by the fountain]
BOOK PROTESTER 1: Finally! It's about time you showed up!
BOOK PROTESTER 2: Sorry I'm late, somebody blew up my car!
BOOK PROTESTER 1: Let's burn some books!
[he takes out a shotgun, and the protesters run into the library, then patrons start running out screaming as the sounds of burning paper are heard]
[cut back to the player in the (now empty) librarian's office, as he takes out his shotgun and starts shooting protesters in order to escape the library before it burns to the ground]
POSTAL DUDE: Today's the first day of the end of your lives!
[after killing several of the protesters, the player eventually makes it out of the library]
POSTAL DUDE: Can't we all just get along? Guess not ... I better watch out for those guys from now on!
["Book Protestor" appears on the player's "enemies" list]



Postal 2 is a first-person shooter video game by Running with Scissors released in 2003, and it is the sequel to the 1997 game Postal. Both are intentionally highly controversial due to high levels of violence and stereotyping.

The player takes on the role of 'The Postal Dude', a tall thin man with a goatee, sunglasses, a blue alien t-shirt, and a long black leather coat. The Postal Dude also wears a Happy Smiley pin on his right lapel and a cross pin on his left one. 'The Postal Dude' lives in a trailer park with his nagging wife (only identified in the credits as 'Postal Dude's Bitch') in the town of Paradise, Arizona.

The game levels are split into days of the week starting Monday and finishing Friday. At the beginning of each day, Dude is given several tasks to accomplish, such as 'Get milk', 'Return Library Book', and other seemingly mundane tasks. The purpose of the game is to finish all of the tasks throughout the week, and the player can accomplish these tasks in any way he wishes, be it as civilly or as chaotically as possible (it is possible, if occasionally difficult, to complete most tasks without engaging in battle, or, at least, killing other people).




1)Get signatures
2)Return book
3)Get Gary's autograph
4)Confess sins

After you finish finding people to sign your 'PETITION to make whiney congressmen play violent video games' you should head to the library and return your book.

2)Return book

Lobby of library:

As soon as you enter, walk down the stairs. Look to the left, do you see some protestors? And remember last time you ran into some protestors? It ended up in some fighting, but if i were you, i wouldn't worry about them now.

Go up the stairs in the left side of the room. Follow the right wall untill you get to a double door, now enter.


When you come in you see a huge line, the game gives you two choices:

1)Stand in line and wait for your turn.
2)Throw the book into a box, next to the desk.

Whatever you do, a FMV will kick in.....The protestors freak out and set the library on fire!!

Ok your back in control, people are either dead or escaping! Turn around and leave the office.


You'll see a set of stairs. Go up the stairs and shoot the two protestors there. If you try to go into the entrance straight in front of you, some flaming wood will fall down and block your path. Take the entrance to the right of it instead and shoot yet another protestor. Take the kevlar and the pistol from the guard, you don't have to shoot the charging protestor. He'll catch fire from some falling wood.

Now here is it, that people often gets stuck.

You are on the second floor, beams in flames are all over the place! Go back to the door and turn 180 degrees, you'll see a beam have fallen from the sealing and have made a bridge, that crosses the room, now cross it! When your over, there is only one path you can follow, so get going!

Beware! There is a bookshelf, that will fall down infront of you, if your not catious, you'll be squashed! Kill the protestor with the molotov and go too the lobby.....

Lobby of the library:

Go too the stairs in the middle of the lobby and run fast up the stairs. Exit the place and your map will come up. The map tells you, that your now an enemy with the book protesors also.



The Library is, as the name suggests, home to the literacy of Paradise. It is accessible through the Main Street. A stone outside the library is dedicated to Senator Joseph McCarthy, and contains the line "...the whole sorry mess of twisted, warped thinkers are swept from the national scene..." from his speech at Wheeling, West Virginia, on February 9, 1950. The library mainly contains books belonging to the "Fiction" category. There is also a "Porn" section, and even one wing called "Bomb Guides and Terrorist Handbooks", in which a terrorist is seen taking a look at the collection.

One of the errands that the Postal Dude must complete on Tuesday involves delivering the Catch Her in the Rye book that his wife had been reading (although the Postal Dude notes that the "Bitch can't even read"). When he arrives, a group of Book protestors is in the entrance hall of the library, shouting "Save a Tree, Burn a Book". The Postal Dude then proceeds to return the book, and after he does so, more book protestors arrive and start to burn the library. The book protestors then attack the Postal Dude and kill some civilians without any apparent reason other than being inside the library. The Postal Dude must then confront the protestors on his way out of the library, which is heavily damaged by the fire, resulting in varios parts destroyed and causing some bookcases to fall.

Once the Postal Dude is outside the library, the building becomes inaccessible due to fire in the entrance. The Paradise Times on Wednesday says that clean up in the library resumes after the clash against the book protestors.